A heartfelt plea

Dear Missy,

Do you ever feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders? That’s how I feel today. In fact I’ve been feeling this way for quite some time. I’ve been very burdened with this feeling and I don’t know how to get out of the rut. I feel like I have no purpose in life. Do you ever feel that way?

Deep down inside I know I do have a purpose. I just know it. But my purpose is now buried underneath the weight of these burdens. This stuff that follows me wherever I go. I just can’t shake it.

I’ve tried to talk to your husband about my feelings. I’ve tried to be honest with him. But he just ignores me. Either he doesn’t hear my cries for help or he just doesn’t care.

My purpose is gone and my heart is heavy. I long to run and be free. To live with purpose and to help people. But all I can do is sit here and wait for this burden to be lifted. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Can you hear me? Can you help me?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Your friend,

Treadmill

 

(Yes, that is a rocking chair on our treadmill. Don’t say a word. I know.)

Please do not smash my face in the snow

Awhile back I shared how I have a major snow phobia . I promised I would share why and I realized I have not made good on my promise. So here goes. Prepare yourself for life changing stuff folks!

It was 1986. I was a 6th grader. I looked like a college student. (pause)

You may wonder what in the world that has to do with snow. Hang with me. (resume)

Because the Lord decided to make me look like a college student when I was 12 you could say I had a little more attention from the boys than most 12 year olds. I was the tallest person in my class, on the heavy side and very blessed up yonder. Staring, name calling, you name it…I endured it.

On this particular day in 1986 I was happily on my way to religion class, aka CCD. I didn’t actually enjoy CCD so I guess I probably wasn’t happily on my way but I was on my way no less. It was cold. It was snowy. I’m a warm weather type girl so I was doing what I could to hurry inside without falling on my face.

I was almost to the doors when it happened. Coming towards me were 6-8 creepy, horrible, no-good boys. To these boys, snow meant white washing. And they were always on the lookout for another victim and if they could embarrass the big freaky girl that’s even better. I believe they were just jealous that I could beat them in kick ball and although I was the size of Goliath I wasn’t a match for 6-8 boys. To this day I still don’t know why no one came to my rescue. I screamed like there was no tomorrow. I kicked and scratched and screamed some more but unfortunately my face was destined to meet the snow.

Not only did they put my face in the snow. They smashed my face in the snow. And put snow down my coat and shirt. Did I say they smashed my face in the snow? They did that too. And put snow down my shirt. It was cold. C. O. L. D.

I was quite the trooper though. After feeling like I was on my way to meet my Maker I realized that I’d survived the attack. I picked myself up, brushed all the snow away and went into the church for CCD. Again, I wonder why no one even asked me what was wrong. Here comes the big chick bawling like a baby and covered in snow. I suppose those teachers had to deal with the boys themselves so were in a constant daze or something.

Because of this tragic experience to this day I am fearful of getting my face smashed into the snow. And than I decided to marry a guy who is a crazy snow ball fighter. Who has a daughter who loves to smash peoples faces in the snow. All for fun mind you but it’s smashing just the same.

The moral of the story:

I have bungee jumped and I have ridden a canoe through the jungles of Costa Rica. I have ran a 1/2 marathon and traveled through 8 countries in Europe. Before I really do meet my Maker I would love to sky dive, bungee jump off one of the highest bridges in the world (like my brother just did) and go deep sea fishing.

But please, do not smash my face in the snow.

Works for me Wednesday

We’d been hoping to add to our family through adoption for quite some time. So when I finally got around to getting the nursery ready I didn’t know if we’d be having a boy or a girl. In addition to that I’m not really a wallpaper fan so we struggled to know how to decorate the nursery.

We decided to go with Winnie the Pooh. I had to do a little begging for Hubby to agree. I love Pooh but he wasn’t all that fond at first. I almost had him convinced to paint a large mural on one of the walls (he’s an amazing artist). Like I said, almost. No worries though, we were able to find these great decoration stickers. We found ours at Wally World but I’m sure there are many other options. Here’s a few pictures from Angel’s room:

This is right above her changing table. Some days it keeps her from wriggling!

This is of course above her crib. Cute, huh!

We just love these stickers. I’ve already removed half of them and re-stuck them because of course I’ve already rearranged her furniture.

Need some easy and cute decorating ideas? Check out wall stickers. It works for me!

Go to Shannon’s for more Works for Me Wednesday.

Good friends

Two months home, four months old

Belle baby is four months old and has been home just a little over two months. I’m sure I said this in our one month update, but I just can’t believe it’s only been two months. It’s seems like she’s just been here forever.

As you read about here and here , I’m back to work now. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about that so I won’t say anything more!

Ok, I lied … Our schedule is going good. Although it’s very different not working a full 8-9 hour day and trying to get my 40 hours fit in nights, weekends, etc, it has been great to have that extra time with Belle. Wednesdays are my favorite. I don’t go into work until 4:00 pm so I basically have the whole day for some good Belle time, cleaning time and sometimes a little work time. It really breaks up my week and that’s nice. I’ve also dedicated that day to making a real nice lunch for Hubby and Princess since I don’t get to have supper with them. That’s been fun too.

I suppose the point of this post is an update on Belle so I’ll get to that!

She’s really talking now. Singing, having complete conversations with her toys. It’s quite interesting. I’m still struggling with knowing what to talk to her about. I know I should just talk about anything and everything but I’ve struggled to do that. But I’m working on it. I’d much rather just sing to her all day and I do alot of that too but have been trying to just talk as much as I can too.

Belle is close to rolling over. She hates her tummy time but that’s getting better too. Now that she’s figured out she can almost scoot herself.

We’ve been trying some rice cereal and it’s not going so good. It’s still pretty early so I’m not worried about it. We’ll just keep plugging away. Her tongue reflex seems to be gone sometimes and then the next feeding she just keeps pushing that food out. Of course she does alot better for daddy than mommy. Silly girl!

Here’s proof…daddy feeding her (sorry I can’t get the picture bigger):

And her’s mommy feeding her:

Don’t you love the bib. Please don’t report me.

Let’s see… mommy and daddy are her favorites and she’s still not quite warmed up to strangers. If it’s just after feeding she’s very happy and then she’s ok. Although the other day Grandpa Al was here and she was so scared of him! We know that will get better with time. Her big sister Princess is also a favorite. The other day Princess watched Belle for me while I ran an errand and I come home to see Belle on Princess’s lap in front of Princess’s laptop. It was cute. And then the other day Princess had come home from being gone for a few days and she was talking to Belle. Belle started laughing out loud. Every time Princess would say something Belle would laugh…a big belly laugh. It was so funny, she had us all crying. We got it on videotape but now can’t figure out how to get it on youtube. We have a pretty cheap camera so we’ll see if it’s even possible. Here is Belle and her big sister:

She loves to be tickled and kissed. She’ll laugh out loud and sometimes scream (in a good way) when we’re playing. It’s so fun to see her playing with us. I do believe she is going to have quite the temper (I guess the red hair may have gave that away). When she’s playing with a toy and can’t get it in her mouth she gets so mad! Needless to say Belle gets to hear the “Patience Song” alot throughout the day…and she’s only four months old! Yikes!

We are so blessed and we know Belle is blessed to. God’s timing is so amazing. Let me just tell you if you’re struggling with God’s timing He really does have it under control. That’s so hard to see when you’re in the middle of something. But He’s walking through with you and in the end you’ll get to see a glimpse of the big picture.

Thanks for checking in! We appreciate your continued prayers for us and Belle, specifically that she would remain healthy and strong and continue to have good bonding and attachment. Here’s a few more pictures of our girl.