Our nightly ritual is usually close to this:

5:30 pm – 6:00 pm: Hubby gets home from work. Depending on the night and my degree of laziness he’ll either make supper or help me finish supper. While he’s doing that I get Belle set up in her high chair and get her started to eat because you do not want to make the hungry baby mad!

6:00 pm – 6:30 pm: Eat supper. Help Belle finish up her supper.

6:30 pm: Decide who’s going to do what. Usually two of us (Hubby and Princess) clean up the dishes and the other one (me) gives Belle her bath. Sometimes Hubby and I switch roles but usually Princess always helps clean up the dishes as opposed to giving Belle her bath.

And let me tell you. She’s one lucky duck.

So last night we went through our normal ritual – only Hubby had to run to the store right after we ate so I gave Princess the option of cleaning up or giving Belle her bath. In the back of my mind I was thinking “please give Belle her bath, please give Belle her bath”. I’m not really sure why. Maybe because I had been on my rear all day and wanted to be up and moving. Or maybe it was because subconsciously I knew what was coming. Unfortunately Princess chose to clean up the dishes and so Belle and I set off to take a bath.

I say to Belle “it’s time to take a bath!” and she goes waddling towards the bathroom because 1. she can walk waddle now! (just like her mama) and 2. she knows exactly what bath is and it’s probably her favorite thing in the world. I run the water, undress Belle and throw her in the tub. I then close the door and use the restroom. Now you’re probably wondering why I needed to tell you that. Well it’s important to know that although I wasn’t ignoring Belle I was preoccupied with going to the bathroom and didn’t notice what Belle was doing.

I finish going to the bathroom, open the bathroom door and sit down to get splashed and have some play time. And that’s when I saw it. Or them. Ewww. I’m totally wretching right now just thinking about it. Ya, Belle, decided she needed to go poop and didn’t bother to tell me so I could get her out of the tub and put a diaper on her.

Thankfully I caught it in time so she hadn’t really touched it yet. Well I guess if you’re swimming in a tub full of poop it probably doesn’t matter if she hadn’t actually touched it yet. I pick her up and start washing her off and she’s totally freaking out because HELLO MAMA! I JUST GOT IN THE TUB WHY DO I HAVE TO GET OUT ALREADY!! I get her dried off and dressed and am in total breakdown mode because Hubby isn’t here to fish out the poop and Princess is in the kitchen laughing her pretty little head off. And then I start freaking out. WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW? HOW DO I GET THE POOP OUT OF THE TUB?

Yes, I know. I’m a mother. This is what mothers do. Unfortunately Belle picked the wrong night to poop in the tub because this mother was a mess and didn’t know what to do.

I call Hubby and explain to him what happened, trying my hardest to ignore his laughter. I ask if I can just leave the poop in the tub until he got home. After he finished laughing, he actually said yes. Am I not married to the most wonderful man on the face of the earth! I didn’t call him to just tell him what happened but to ask him what to do. Yes, you did read that correctly. After he patiently explained to the idiot me how to get the poop out of the tub I set off to complete my mothering duty.

In the meantime Princess had taken Belle for me and they decided to come into the bathroom and watch me try to fish out the little presents Belle had left. Only they weren’t little, people. I know you don’t really need to know that either, but I do believe this was the biggest poop Belle had ever had. Figures.

Since it had been about 10 minutes now since she left the present some of it had started to break up and take over the entire tub and all her toys and was very difficult to fish out of the water. Princess is sitting there with Belle laughing at me as I try to achieve this impossible task. All the while I’m gagging and wretching and trying very hard not to lose my supper.

I finish the task of scooping out Belle’s contribution to the world, take the toys out and put in a separate bag to be washed later and drain the tub. I call Hubby and ask him to bring a can of Scrubbing Bubbles because of course we are out and this job calls for Scrubbing Bubbles. I wash my hands for about 10 minutes and then me, Belle and Princess head downstairs, hopefully to forget the whole incident until Hubby gets home with our cleaning supplies.

Hubby comes home and I hear the water running upstairs. Even though I didn’t ask him to, he cleans out the tub for me.

Did I mention that I’m married to the most wonderful man in the world.

And Princess is lucky she prefers washing dishes over giving Belle her bath.

And Belle – well she’s the biggest pooper in the world.

And even though it caused me to gag and wretch, I love making memories with my family.