ER conversations

My husband is funny. Especially in stressful situations. I made sure to remember some funny things he said last week when I was in the ER. Ok, I realize most of these conversations are not in the least bit funny. Except to me and Pat. And I guess that’s ok.

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I had starting crying again after they did an ultrasound and I was feeling very frustrated that I was a blubbering mess. Sure, I was in pain, but still, I was frustrated about it.

Me: Why do I cry so much?

Pat: Because you have ovaries.

—

More about crying…

Me: I look horrible.

Pat: No you don’t.

Me: Yes I do. My face looks like a mess.

Pat: Well, it could be worse right. (His standard line.)

Me: No, I don’t think it good.

Pat: Sure it could. You could have no face.

—–

He had texted family and friends to pray and my brother had sent a text after awhile wanting an update…

Pat’s text: We’re still in the ER. There’s blood everywhere. (There obviously wasn’t.)

Tracy’s text: WHAT! Is she conscious?

—

Me: You need to make sure and tell the doctor I want him to take both ovaries.

Pat: I’ll just tell him we want to make some earrings and we can’t really do that with just one ovary.

We interrupt the health drama for a little funny

One morning I had managed to get out of bed, showered and dressed before the kids were up. Caleb was sleeping in our bed and I went over to wake him up. He slowly wakes up, stands and looks at me strangely. Then he says, “Mom you dressed all ready?”  I guess I stay in my pj’s a little too much, huh?!

—–

Caleb and Angel were helping my dad clean some fish. The fish made a noise and Caleb said, “Excuse you.” My mom asked him why he said that and he said, “The fish burped.”

—–

I was laying in bed and Pat and Angel were in the living room. The weather was on and I heard this conversation:

Angel: What’s the blue line?

Pat: That’s a low pressure system.

Angel: What’s the red line?

Pat: That’s a high pressure system.

Angel: Hmm. Well that’s interesting.

—–

In the car the other day Daddy was telling “knock knock” jokes to the kids. He first did the one to Angel where he says “banana” over and over and over and then finally the punch line is, “Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?”

He then said the one with “olive” and the punch line is “Olive you.”

So Angel and Caleb starting saying them to each other.

Angel: Knock knock.

Caleb: Who’s there?

Angel: Banana.

Caleb: Who? Banana who?

Angel: Orange you glad I didn’t say olive?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

—–

Angel was trying to get Joey to come in to the house one morning. Finally he came in and she turns around, puts her hands up in the air and yells, “JO JO’s IN THE HOUSE!”

—–

On the way home after dropping off Angel at school I asked Caleb what we were going to do. He asked if we could play with cars. I said sure. He said, “HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY FOR MOMMY!”

The things they say and do

More kid stuff. Better than me blabbing on and on, huh!

—–

At supper one night Daddy rolled up Caleb’s sleeves on his Spiderman shirt.

Caleb: Why you rolling up my sleeves Daddy?

Pat: Cause Spiderman is awesome and we don’t want to get him dirty.

Caleb: No, he’s cute.

Pat: He’s cute?

Caleb: Ya, he’s cute.

Angel: No, Caleb. He’s the awesomest.

Caleb: No! He’s cute everyone!

—–

I was laying in bed with Angel and Daddy and Joey were playing in the family room.

Angel: What is Daddy doing out there?

Me: Working with Joey.

Angel: Is he teaching him a lesson?

Me: Ya, I guess so.

Angel: (in a low voice) I’m gonna teach you a lesson!

We both laugh.

Angel: (laughing) Mommy I can’t do that! I don’t even know how to teach you a lesson!

—–

We laugh about something we taught the kids. Quite awhile back Pat said to one of the kids, “I’m watching you,” and he used his index and middle finger to point to his eyes and then point back to the kids.  I did it one day to them too and now they’ve started doing it to us.

“I’m watching you Mama!”

Caleb can’t quite hold up just his two fingers – poor kids has the chubbiest fingers! – so he does it with three fingers. He’s really watching us I guess!

—–

I mentioned awhile back how Caleb likes the movie Barbie Princess Charm School. Ok, he doesn’t just like it, it’s probably one of his top three. Anyway, after watching the movie he started kneeling down to give me stuff and saying, “Here you are sir.” Pat finally got it on video the other night.

—–

Caleb’s middle name is Richard. He seems to think that it’s everyone’s middle name. Or he’s just a big stinker.

“Mommy Richard!”

“Daddy Richard!”

“Angel Richard!”

“Joey Richard!”

—–

We were eating out at a Mexican restaurant and Angel saw a cactus across the room. She asked if she could touch it when we left. I said yes.

Angel: (hugging me) YOU ARE THE BEST MOM IN THE WHOLE WORLD!

Caleb: YOU ARE! YOU ARE! YOU ARE!

—–

My parents were here last weekend and one morning Caleb went into the room where my mom was and said, “How you doing today, Grama?”

—–

And a little dancing.

The things they say and do

The kids make us laugh so much. Unfortunately they are getting old enough, especially Angel, that she takes offense when we laugh at her. I keep telling her that we aren’t laughing at her. But she doesn’t believe me. She’s just so funny though.

~~The other day she picked up Joey and he scratched her eye. She had a complete meltdown, I think because she so devastated that Joey would do that to her (even though it was an accident). Not necessarily because it hurt.  Well anyway, she went running in to her room and slammed the door.  I went to her door (which she has started locking lately. Grrrr.) and said, “Angel are you ok? Open the door please.”  She said, “I’M NOT COMING OUT UNTIL SEPTEMBER!” (Direct quote from Judy Moody.) I burst out laughing ( I couldn’t help it) and then she got really mad. “DON’T LAUGH AT ME!”

Oh dear.

~~I’m afraid to admit this but it appears our children are learning most of their words and antics from television. We’re kind of a movie family. One of Angel’s recent favorites is Barbie Princess Charm School. It’s also one of Caleb’s favorite but I won’t say that out loud because Daddy doesn’t like that he LOVES it! They always do a few things from the movie.

Caleb has started kneeling down whenever he brings me something. There’s a prince in the movie that does this when he meets Barbie. See, it’s not all bad for him to watch it! We’ve started having them clear the table after supper and he’ll bring piece by piece and each time he’ll kneel down and say, “Here you are sir.” It’s so stinking funny and of course I haven’t been able to catch it on camera yet.

Another thing from the movie is they will put their hands together (like in the middle of a circle) and say, “Let’s do it tonight!” and they’ll raise their hands up in the air and then go off on an adventure just like the Barbie girls do.

~~The other day Angel was talking to Grama Barb about her shoes (which she’s had forever) and said, “I got them at the mall.”

~~Angel has started saying/singing, “Don’t be such a drama queen!” I don’t think I’ve said that to her but it’s highly likely I said something like that.  The funniest part is she’ll say it to Caleb.

~~Today Caleb came up to me and asked for a snack. And then he said, “I NEED SUGAR!”

Oh dear.

Wanted