Life lately as told by really bad pictures

Have you ever read this blog? I think that should be the name of my blog. Or perhaps we should just invest in a decent camera. Or stop blogging maybe?  Ha, ya right!  Well for now you’re still stuck with blurry not smart phone pictures.

~I taught my kids to sew.

Well not really because I don’t really know how to sew. But we did have somewhat of a teaching lesson recently.

~Have you seen this video?

We came across it the other day and Caleb thought it was pretty cool. He started doing the actions too.

This is me looking creepy and Angel refusing to do the actions for the camera.

~Oh my word I don’t think I’ve mentioned that I’m done with school! Yahoo! I ended up getting an A in English and a B in Anatomy. Going into the last exam I was so close to an A in Anatomy and then all the health drama started and I kinda just gave up. Grr. Oh well. I’m SO thankful that I decided to not take summer classes!

On the last day of school we went out for dessert to celebrate!

~His and hers movies. That, despite the fact that I sent this picture to Hubs, I didn’t get for Mother’s Day. Which I’m not complaining about. Just pointing out a fact.

Yes. Yes I do need to read this book again.

~Last week we organized a little play date for the moms and kids in Angel’s class. It was alot of fun to be able to let the kids play other than at school. Angel’s last day of school is tomorrow and she is really going to miss her friends. We are hoping to do at least a couple play dates during the summer though.

You can kinda see Angel – she’s back there!

~Angel and Caleb are doing such a good job riding their bikes! We have been taking them around our big block – which is about 2-3 blocks worth. So far Pat has always been along but today I ventured out on my own. They did really good. Except for the one corner that Angel took too sharp and wiped out. And Caleb was really tired and cranky (he’s been struggling with allergies) and so I pushed him most of the way. But it’s still super fun and seriously could they get any cuter?!

~This is kind of an old picture but I came across it on my phone. This was actually a few months ago I think when we were visiting my parents. The kids loved “helping” Papa clean the fish!

~Not even extreme exhaustion will cause him to let go of his beloved peanut butter and jelly!

~Princess was here! Her and her hubs have been visiting for a few days – you’ll hear more about that tomorrow! This is Caleb giving her a tackle hug!

~We’re so thankful for warm weather and mama feeling mostly better and looking forward to summer fun!

I remember the tumbleweed

I mentioned a few days ago that it’s been a little bit of a struggle going through all our stuff and selling alot of it at our garage sale this weekend.

Ok, alot of a struggle.

I encouraged you to read this post the other day and I hope you did. It was that little push I needed to keep purging through all our stuff.

But still as I’d be going through the kids clothes or our dishes or the toys or the Christmas decorations I’d think, “I love this.” Or “Angel loves this so much.” Or, “I could use this someday I’m sure.”

But then I tried to remember.

And I couldn’t remember even one outfit that I had from my childhood.  Or one pair of shoes.

But I do remember going barefoot outside on the farm and running through the fields and playing on the haystacks and getting chased by psycho roosters. Alot of times with no clothes on at all!

I couldn’t remember any toys we had.

Except one. I remember the homemade black cloth doll my sister and I got one Christmas. And I remember all the Christmases at Grandma Harriet’s and sitting on Grandpa Hank’s lap and all the cousins playing dress up and putting on plays in the basement.

And my mom and aunts getting a little bit tipsy (ok alot) off Jagermeister. HA!

I couldn’t remember any dishes or appliances we had as a kid. I couldn’t remember if our dishes matched or if we had plastic or paper or glass.

But I do remember my dad making goulash and my parents making deer and trying to convince us it was hamburger and my parents making liver and onions and stinking up the house. And I remember sitting together in the living room in front of the tv eating together.

I couldn’t remember any birthday presents or birthday parties.

Except one. My 7th birthday. In the basement of Grandma Harriet’s house.  No fancy cake or decorations and I don’t remember any presents I got. But I remember my aunts and cousins came and we played musical chairs. I won but I think they let me win. And my aunt Joanne gave me 7 spankings.

I couldn’t remember any fancy cars or big fancy houses.

But I do remember all the old beater cars. The Hooter Van that was a hundred years old and huge. The Diesel Durango that took our family of six out to California and up the coast to Oregon and back home to South Dakota (except the engine blew half way). The Beast. My yellow 1970′s car that I’d drive 60 going down the main road of our town with friends in the back and we’d hit a bump and go flying. (Please Angel and Caleb don’t read this.) And we’d lock the doors and roll the windows down and pretend to be the Dukes of Hazard and have to get in through the windows.  And we’d outrun those stinky seniors our freshman year of high school as they’d try to initiate us during homecoming week!

I remember our old farm-house with a huge heater grill in the middle of the living room floor and we’d have to be so careful not to get anything on it. I remember the other old farm-house that I don’t think was ever finished but it had a spirally staircase and a tire swing in the backyard.  I remember the small apartment in Colorado where me and my three siblings had two sets of bunk beds and all shared a bedroom.  I remember the double wide trailer that we lived in for ten years through high school and my dad built a huge addition himself and don’t you dare knock living in a double wide trailer because it was our home.

I couldn’t remember going shopping with my mom or going to the spa or going on road trips.

But I do remember working out on the farm as a family. Giving shots, castrating, and cutting off tails of the sheep. Hearing dad get mad and swear at the sheep and mom yelling at my dad to stop swearing.  Helping mom and dad when a mama sheep couldn’t birth her lamb and they’d run in and ask one of us to come help.  I remember taking care of bottle lambs and going on horse rides. I remember going down to the river and getting full of mud and going fishing. I remember playing Shanghai rummy over and over. I remember going to Grandma Harriet’s and spending almost the entire summer there and riding bikes with the neighborhood kids and eating lunch at noon sharp and having to use the same plate for ice cream.

I don’t remember my parents buying us big fancy gifts.

But I do remember them always being there. No. Matter. What. I remember my mom sending me over a dozen letters when I was on a band/choir tour in Europe. At every hotel we’d arrive to there would be a letter waiting for me.  I remember my dad doing anything for us kids. I remember them fighting like crazy but sticking it out. Through the good times and through the really tough times.  I remember them being at most sporting and music events. I remember them working two and three jobs in addition to the farm so we could make it through. I remember them giving up the farm and sheep, their life-long dream, because they thought life would be better and easier for us kids if we lived in town.

I couldn’t remember any Christmas decorations we had.

But I do remember the tumbleweed Christmas. There were four of us kids and money was tight. More than tight. There was no money for a Christmas tree. So my dad tromped out into the cold and snow and brought home a huge tumbleweed. Mom and dad sprayed it white and let us put tinsel all over.  We were all together, my baby brother Jim just home from the hospital, sitting around this huge tumbleweed in the living room, each of us getting just one or two gifts.

I know that there can also be memories made with big trips and nice cars and nice stuff.  But I don’t want to convince myself that if my kids don’t have a closet full of clothes or if we don’t have as many Snowman Christmas decorations that they’ll somehow be scarred for life.  Because it’s not in the stuff.

It’s in the time spent. It’s the minutes and hours and days. Time with family. Time with friends.  Love. Laughter. Committment. Time. I want each day of my kid’s life to be a reflection of that tumbleweed Christmas. Taking something pretty plain and in most eyes ugly. And making it beautiful and something to never be forgotten.

The day the light came back

It was eight years ago today that the light came back on.

The light of the love of Jesus first came into my life in 1994 as a sophomore in college. I recognized my need for a Savior and I was born again.  I got married, had great friends, a new church family and was loving life. Until we tried to start a family. The months and years went by. 

And then I fell.

I was lied to. I was deceived. I believed a lie and I believed the Deceiver. A follower of Jesus I was. But I walked away.

I walked away from everyone. Husband. Child. Family. Friends. Jesus.

At night the pain was so real. The nightmares would come. The guilt. Embarrassment. Sorrow.  But the morning would come and I’d continue living my life.  In a fake hope. Without the Light of Jesus.

Many prayed. A few friends hung on. Despite me. They called. And kept calling. They invited. And kept inviting.  One day I said yes.  Yes I would come listen to your daughter sing at Lifelight Music Festival.  Even though I wasn’t “one of them”. I wasn’t a follower of Jesus anymore. I was nothing. I was lost. I was hopeless.

I encountered friends at Lifelight that year. Friends who loved unconditionally. Friends who were Jesus to me. 

One in particular was Brooke. Just a teenager. But she loved Jesus and saw my need. She saw my pain. As tears streamed down my face. As the music played and the words were sung she wrapped her arms around me.

“Missy, just let it go.”

And I did. I cried. I confessed. I wept. I knelt.

I was reborn again.

I don’t understand the theology of it. But I experienced it and so I know it’s true. Jesus became real to me again and He was there. The light came back on.  He rescued me from the pit. The scales came off my eyes. My heart was restored. Jesus loved. He loves. He never stopped.

And then He did so much more. He restored my new family. He brought beauty from ashes. He brought healing.

I’ll never forget this day.  I’ll never forget the friends who didn’t quit trying.  The many friends and family who didn’t stop praying. I’ll forever be thankful to my Savior who always loves, always forgives and always brings hope.

Are you living in a fake hope today? Do you need restoration and healing? Jesus alone is the answer. He loves you no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve done.

Click on the sidebar “Not Your Ordinary Love Story” to read more.

Dear Angel and Caleb

Stop growing already, ok?

But don’t stop growing. Grow big and strong. Take on the world. Make a difference. Love Jesus.

Easter 2009:

Easter 2010:

Easter 2011:

Christmas 2008:

Christmas 2009:

Christmas 2010:

This parenting thing is confusing and my heart is conflicted.  I want them to stay little. But then again I don’t. Time flies. When you’re having fun and when you’re not having fun. When you’re laughing and when you’re crying. In the blink of an eye life changes. We are but guardians of them for the short time they are entrusted to us.  For some reason the Lord saw fit to entrust them to us. It wasn’t a mistake or an accident.  Help them grow big and strong. Help them take on the world. Help them make a difference. Help them love Jesus.

Treasure each moment.

40 years of awesome

Edited to add: I mentioned below that we all turned into beautiful young ladies. Obviously we didn’t all turn into young ladies. Just me and my sister. Wanted to make sure that was clear.

Today is my sister Danelle’s (Nellie) birthday!

I’m not going to share with you how old she is. I don’t want her to get mad at me. I’m also not going to post any embarrassing pictures of her from the past 40 years.  But I am going to share some pretty awesome pictures.

Here she is as a baby with our mom. Isn’t she a cutie?

Before long she had a little sister and two little brothers to bother her day and night! But she was (and is) an awesome big sister, making us macaroni and cheese anytime we wanted and teaching us how to make grilled cheese sandwiches (right Sister!).

Christmas 1978, our brother Jim had just come home from the hospital.

In a river in Colorado.  We took this exact picture 20 years later as adults. I couldn’t find it though.

And then we all grew up and turned into beautiful young ladies.  Well young ladies anyway. I think this was my sister’s confirmation which would have been 1986 or 1987. We’re with our Uncle Jack.

Here ya go. I have no words actually. Well maybe a few.

Holy cow, those are big glasses.

Angel was looking at these with me and she said, “Nellie’s hair is sticking up.”

And a few years later. Guess the big glasses were still in style. Kinda funny how my brother has the longest hair of the bunch.

There we go, that’s a little better. This was my sophomore year of college so 1993. Doesn’t my sister look exactly like my mom in the first two pictures?

Fast forward a few years. Lots of memories. Good times, bad times, fun times, hard times. Lots of awesome memories.

Now she’s “Sister” to me (yes, that’s pretty much what I call her all the time) and “Aunt Nellie” to Angel and Caleb.  And she’s the best sister and best aunt we could ever hope for!

We love you Aunt Nellie! We hope you have an awesome birthday!