During Advent I was a part of a drama team for Advent services. I was the Angel. We were a nativity scene that came to life. A couple of times I had to hold my arms like that for at least 5 minutes. Ow.

One day a few weeks ago I decided to get ambitious and have a science day.  First we made towers using play dough, spaghetti noodles and Cheerios. Angel loved this project. Caleb thought it was ok but it didn’t keep his attention as good.

After play dough towers, we got real sciency and made some different mixtures using water, oil and salt. Oh ya, food coloring too. Just a little bit of a mess. But the kids loved it.

I think this was a day my Bubba was sick. Unfortunately he’s had alot of those days lately.

Building lego houses.

My love.

Our craft this week was lame kinda simple.  We are going to spend a day with my sister in the middle of February. Originally I wanted to make a fancy string thing that showed the numbers and then each day we take off a number to reveal how many days left until we see Aunt Nellie. Well that didn’t work so well and so we ended up with a hanging thing and then each day the kids pull off the number. I guess they still like it and they got to cut which they absolutely love so it wasn’t a complete loss.

Bubba’s finger at the doctor.

The day before my school started we celebrated this new adventure by having a triple chocolate meltdown at Apple Bee’s. Love.

Caleb with his best bud Spiderman.

Ed. This is how he sits most every day all day long.

“Make believe day” at Angel’s school. She dressed up as Rapunzel and of course Caleb had to dress up too. Doesn’t he look tall in this picture!?

Me and Pat on a date, eating at a salad place. You can’t really see it but I have brown sauce coming out of my mouth.  The honeymoon’s over folks.

Angel getting her first, but not really, haircut. It’s her first haircut at an actual hair salon. I’ve trimmed her hair a little before so I guess it really doesn’t count as a first first haircut.  But she loved it and sat so nice.

What Caleb would do all day long if we let him. Play angry birds on Pat’s ipod.

A new coat Angel got for her birthday. (This was taken in October!) It’s a little big but will be perfect this spring.  My little cutie pie.

Caleb is happy if… he has a snack, a drink and is watching a movie. (Maybe a little too much like his mama.)

Angel is all about talking on the phone lately. Most of the time she talks to Nellie. And talks and talks.

After talking on the “phone” to Nellie, she then likes to write her name. Over and over.

The kiddos usually don’t want to pick out their own clothes. And it’s a good thing, because this is what Caleb would look like if he did.  Ok, I guess he’s pretty cute.

My two favorite girls… Angel and Princess.  (We miss her so much!)

Angel’s first craft of the new year. Perfect!

Do you remember awhile back when I said, “While I have some issues to deal with, I know I’m not depressed and so I know there are other things out there (the Lord, friends, family, counseling, better eating, exercise) to help me through.”

No?

Good, because I didn’t really mean it.

Well ok, I did mean it at the time.  And I still believe there are “other things” out there to help me.  But I have a tendency to get excited about things after trying it for like 4.6 seconds and at the time I was feeling pretty good (possibly because my brain had leveled out since being on my happy pills. duh.) and so I might have been a wee bit premature in declaring all health and happiness.

Here’s the truth of the matter. I don’t know if I’m dealing with depression.  But I do know that after going off my happy pills I was heading down that slippery slope again of being in a really dark place.

Yes, eating gluten-free has helped me feel better. And I’m still gluten-free about 80% of the time and when I don’t eat gluten-free I feel like crud.  Yes, I’m exercising regularly. Yes, I tried other “remedies” like the Sam-E (made me sick) and other natural things.  Yes, I was consistent in having quiet time every morning.  Yes, I prayed and prayed and prayed for God to “fix” me.

But even with the gluten-free and other things there was still no consistency to my state of emotions.  So when I weaned myself off my medication I’d have a good week and then I’d have a bad week. I’d have a good day and then I’d have a bad day. Slowly I started turning back into that person who snapped way too often at her kids for no good reason, was crabby more than I was happy, was angry at anything and everything, and had more ups and downs in my emotions than I care to even talk about. Snap, snap, snap.  And with what seemed like no control over any of it. Ug.

So despite that fact that I don’t like being on an anti-depressant and many people view it negatively, I started taking it again in November. Through this whole process God has helped me be ok with being on them and stop caring about what anyone might think. What I care about is being able to take care of my kids. Being able to smile at them and laugh with them, to kiss and hug them. Being able to be a wife who encourages and supports her husband.  And I’ve finally, FINALLY, come to peace that God is using this little pill to bring healing.

If you’re going through some of the same struggles I just want to encourage you that you are not alone.  And I’m so thankful, that no matter what, whether I need that pill or not, that this is true.

“For today I’m going to keep reminding myself that sometimes life is hard but God is good. A bad day isn’t a failed day or a failed life. The past doesn’t define me. Jesus is Savior and He is my Hope and Joy.  God has called me, prepared me, allowed me, blessed me and equipped me to be a mom.  He has. And I’m starting to believe it.  And I’ll continue to remind myself that each day is a gift that I don’t want to waste.

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.  Isaiah 26:3-4″

(From Chaos Theory post.)

I think mama might have needed a little break.

Needing a little break might have had something to do with it. But I also wanted to spend some time with my brother and parents.   Being able to sleep in on Saturday morning had nothing to do with it. Really.

Anyway, the kids and I drove to my parent’s house Thursday night, arriving at around 9:30 pm.  They were of course fired up and ready to go and so it was 11:00 pm by the time they were asleep.  Usually this means they wake up even earlier than normal the next day, but Angel slept until 8:30 am! I couldn’t believe it, she never sleeps in that late.  After both kids were up we played for awhile, dumped toys all over Grama and Papa’s house, took a bath and posed for pictures…

(I don’t know if my son will ever forgive me for posting so many pictures of him in his undies!)

We then got ready to go see my brother and braved the cold weather. Brrr!  After a nice visit with Jim we met my mom and dad for lunch. And then I was on the road for home as I had to work at 4:00 pm and the roads were getting snowy and icy.

I might have been just a little bit excited to sleep in on Saturday morning. Unfortunately I made the mistake of buying the book Hunger Games for my Kindle on my PC.  I started reading it at work Friday night and had to finish it when I got home. And then I decided for some reason to watch the next episode of Parenthood, which I watch every week on Hulu.  And then it was 3:00 am and I realized that I’m missing precious hours of sleep.

I ended up getting more sleep than usual though. At 10:30 am Saturday morning Pat woke me and I couldn’t believe I slept seven straight hours. Heaven!  We eventually got up and decided to make a day of it, which for us means going to a movie.  It was Pat’s turn to pick (boo) and he’s been dying to see the new Underworld movie. We usually don’t go to R rated movies (not because we think it’s wrong, just because it’s something we decided awhile back as a couple), but since it was mostly just killing that made it R (nice) we decided to go. On the way over I called the cheap theatre and told him there were another really good vampire movie playing at the cheap theatre. He  might have glared at me.

Before the movie we had lunch at Pancake House. We usually don’t go there because most everything has egg or gluten in it.  But Pat loves him some pancakes. And they actually have alot of gluten-free foods. Pat got pecan pancakes and I got an omelette. Yum.  Then it was off to the movie. After the movie we did a little shopping and then went to the fitness center and worked out.  We almost went to another movie after that but decided that watching a movie in our nice warm home cuddled up in blankets would be much more fun.

Sunday was a full day as Pat and I were doing a skit at each of the services at church. Yes, you read that right. Pat did a skit with me. He’s a rock star.  We also had our couple’s Bible study, which is such a blessing to us and we had to be around all morning to sell tickets for an upcoming couple’s retreat we are helping with.  It was a full morning and I was thankful my parents had the kids because they would have been so tired and cranky by the time we got home.

Turns out they were tired and cranky anyway. Caleb ended up getting sick again and Angel always struggles with transitioning back home after being away from us. My parents brought the kids home about noon and unfortunately Angel whined and cried the entire day and night.  Caleb didn’t act too horribly sick but he was coughing again and was starting to get a cold sore on his lip.  They were so tired and so at 7:00 pm they took baths and by 8:00 pm they were in bed. Caleb was asleep immediately and Angel not shortly after.

They were both up a few times during the night so I was so thankful for a little extra sleep over the weekend.  By this morning (Monday), Angel was back to her happy silly self but Caleb wasn’t doing so good. When he woke up at midnight he had a fever and was coughing pretty bad. Monday morning the fever was gone but he was still coughing and the sore on his lip was huge and looked infected. 

Would you like to see a picture? No? Ok. Then you better turn away.

I called the doctor and they wanted to see him and were able to get him in this morning. Turns out his lip was infected and the doctor said it was infantigo.  And turns out he also had a double ear infection! He didn’t complain at all about his ears except Sunday night was complaining that everything was too loud.  So poor baby is on antibiotics again and hopefully he can finally get feeling better!

So now the kiddos are home, hopefully on the mend and we can get back to a normal routine this week.  Well, as normal as possible anyway, right!?

But before I do that I have to tell you that today I learned how labor contractions are an example of a positive feedback mechanism and I know now exactly how and why I had contractions for 3 days. I almost raised my hand and asked why my positive feedback mechanism was so slow but I didn’t.

Anyway.

A few weeks ago I purchased a new devotional called Made to Crave Devotional by Lysa TerKeurst. It’s based off of her book, Made to Crave, which I haven’t read yet.  This devo. Oh my word. Fabulous.

I think y’all know about my struggles with weight loss and exercise and, um possibly a little bit with food. Ok, alot of struggles with food. Last year when I finally lost weight and got down to a healthy weight alot of it was because I addressed some of the food addiction issues I have.  Unfortunately the holidays came and I kinda threw everything I learned out the window.  After the holidays I got back on track as far as exercise goes, but unfortunately still haven’t done as well as far as the food goes.  Now this year, with the holidays come and gone once again, I really want to find a consistent healthy balance of the food choices I’m making.

Most of the time? Most of the time, I make good choices. We eat healthy and limit the bad stuff.  But all those other times. When I’m stressed or mad or sad or tired. Those times are usually when I make very bad food choices.  Instead of dealing with those feelings. Instead of talking about things with my husband. Instead of going to the Lord when I need filled up. I go to food.  The most frustrating thing is that I know I’m doing it too.

But thankfully this devotional has really helped direct me back to a better focus.  I already know the triggers that send me over the edge and cause me to make bad food choices. But this has given me the encouragement to then take that next step. And make choices that are good for me and good for my soul. Choices that won’t leave me feeling guilty and discouraged.

The other thing I love about this devotional is that it’s not just about food. The encouragement and message really can apply to so many areas of our life. Whatever our struggle is, and let’s be honest ok? We all have struggles. We all have addictions.  The Truth of God’s Word and the devotionals by Lysa bring you back to the One who can help you through. Whatever it is you’re dealing with.

I encourage you to invest in this devotional, if you don’t already have one. I got mine on my Kindle for PC (free to download) and it was only $5.00.  The devos are not long and always focused on God’s word.

And now I’ll get back to studying. And maybe a little snack too. But no twinkies today. We’ll save those to celebrate when I pass Anatomy!

“Me boy Mama, not baby.”

Ya, whatever.

And then I rock him and kiss him and sing him rock-a-bye baby and tell him he’ll always be my baby boy.

Even though he’ll always be my baby boy, he has grown up in the blink of an eye. Within the past few months he’s talking has just exploded and so it makes him seem so grown up.  He talks ALL. DAY. LONG.  Whew, it wears us out. But it’s so stinkin’ cute too.  He continues to struggle with some letter pronunciation, but it just depends on the word. For example he can’t always say the letter “L” but sometimes he can. I think overall he talks pretty good so I’m not stressed out about it.  He’s pretty much corrected his stuttering all by himself. He still stutters sometimes but not often. He will slow down and think hard about the words before saying them when he starts stuttering.

Some cute things he says:

“Mama, I need cover ups.” – when he needs covered with a blanket.

“Actually.” – Angel taught him this word and he uses it often when negotiating.

“And then what’s next?” – Lately he’s been wanting to know what we are doing and when I say one thing he’ll ask what’s next. So I go through the entire day until bedtime and then he’s satisfied.

“I’m sorry bout that.”  So sweet.

When he’s trying to convince us of something, like that he needs a treat, he’ll find some writing and say, “It says right here…” and then say whatever it is he wants.  The other day he was “reading” a book and he said, “Mama, this says, ‘Daddy doesn’t have to work anymore and I get to go to school and Angel gets to go to school and Mommy doesn’t have to go to school!”

Caleb continues to love school. He still goes every Friday morning from 9:00-11:30 am. His teachers are fabulous and it has been such a blessing for him and our family. He gets upset that he can’t go more often so I’m glad he really likes it. And I think it’s already really helped him with interacting with other kids. So far he hasn’t beat up anyone so that’s good!  Although last week we were waiting to pick him up and I watched him through the window as all the kids cleaned up. He wasn’t being such a sweet angel to the other boys as they picked up toys.

He is still really inconsistent with eating. Some days he will eat anything and everything. Some days he will eat nothing.  He no longer asks for hot dogs and mac-n-cheese for every meal. Now he asks for Pizza Ranch. Ha!  His favorite foods are noodles, peanut butter and jelly, anything sweet, breakfast bars, chips and guacamole or chips and salsa, and did I mention anything sweet? He certainly has a sweet tooth so we have to be careful with that.  Caleb is still allergic to egg and the past few months his rash has been really bad so we’ve declared an absolutely no egg diet. I mentioned this in another post but we’ve found that flaxmeal is a great substitute for egg and have just recently started using that.  He will eat fruits and veggies pretty good though too. In fact I often make soup with kale in it and he likes that and he loves raw red peppers.

We had the kids’ yearly checkups last week and Caleb is in the 40th percentile for weight and 25th percentile for height. He’s just now moving into size 3T but still wears some 2T.

Caleb is still a potty training super star.  He’s pretty much dry 24/7 and for the most part stays dry at night too. The last month at school he’s had a few accidents which was really unusual so I’m not sure what that was about. And when he’s really tired he’ll have an accident at night.  We’re still working with him to keep his pants, socks and shoes on when he has to “sit down” because he is adamant about getting completely naked (except for his shirt).

Caleb’s personality is so funny. As trying and exhausting as this busy three year old little boy can be, I absolutely love watching him grow and learn. He does the cutest things and one minute can be a terror and the next minute the sweetest little angel.

He is very protective of his big sister. If Angel and I are playing rough or wrestling he will come over and pound on me.

The past few months he started giving us a thumbs up. He gives us a squinty eyed little smile and sticks his hand out with thumbs up anytime he does something good or is helpful. I have no idea where it came from but I absolutely love it.

He’s all about the negotiating lately.  He’ll ask for candy or another drink of juice and when if I say no he’ll say, “how ’bout just a wittle tiny dwink.” Or if it’s time to brush teeth or get dressed or do something he always has to negotiate and do it his way. I know it’s good for him at this age to make his own decisions so I’m always trying to pick my battles and allow him that freedom as much as possible.  But it’s such a balance because we need him to listen to us too of course. And he’s so strong willed. If he’s determined to do something now, he’s going to do it. He’ll just argue and argue and argue with us. Thankfully most of the time we are stronger willed but it’s just so different from Angel. She’s so tender hearted and we barely have to say anything for her to obey us (most of the time).  I just pray that God will use his strong willed personality to do great things for Him!

He and Angel play like best buds and fight like cats and dogs. Most of the time they fight. Oh my goodness it’s exhausting most every day.  And we have many many opportunities to teach about sharing and caring and “hugs not slugs” and loving each other and being kind to each other and please Lord I hope they will eventually get this.

Caleb loves cars and trucks, super heros, especially Spider man, Diego, baseball, football, “hi-ya” (karate), soccer and anything else that involves kicking, hitting, wrestling, running, fighting and just in general being a busy crazy little boy.  We were going to enroll him in a tae kwon do class when he turned three but I think we’ll wait until next Fall. He still gets pretty shy around people he doesn’t know and this Spring will already bring alot of change with me going back to school.  We are excited for the Summer though as we’re going to get him involved with t-ball and he’s so excited about that.

For awhile Caleb loved to take a shower but now he prefers taking a bath.  He still does a really good job of brushing his teeth and since investing in battery operated toothbrushes he’s been doing it all by himself.  I thought I was crazy for spending $5 on those toothbrushes but they are so worth it. Even Angel is brushing her teeth now.

He usually wakes up about 6:30 am and if he takes a nap it’s 9-9:30 pm before he’s ready for bed and most of the time sleeps through the night. If he doesn’t take a nap bedtime is 8-8:30 pm.  We are still transitioning out of naps so it’s not really consistent. He’s been sick lately so he’s been sleeping alot but I would say in the next few months he’ll probably outgrow his nap all together. Which will actually be nice because 9:30 pm is just too late for bedtime and then me and the Daddy don’t have much time to ourselves before Daddy is ready for bed!  If he does nap later in the day and we end up waking him up he is the crankiest little boy I’ve ever seen. So we are really trying to avoid those later naps because it’s just better for everyone!

As much as Caleb is growing up so fast, he really is still my baby boy. He loves loves loves to cuddle and I know the day will come when that won’t be the case. (Que tears.) He makes us laugh every single day. He also tries our patience every single day. But I guess that’s what they call the joy of parenting!

It also appears that I may never sleep again.

Today was my first day of class. I’m taking one actual live class, Anatomy and Physiology, and one online class, English Lit.  So far I really like both of my professors.  And so far I have lots of studying and reading to do.

I was a little worried about the online class but I think I’m really going to like that format. I like that you can work at your own pace and work ahead.

For Anatomy we had to take a chemistry quiz to make sure that our chemistry knowledge was up to par. The last time I took chemistry was in 1992 and I got a D. I then took it again and got a C. So needless to say I was not looking forward to my little quiz. The professor was very clear that if you don’t score over a 70% then it’s probably best to drop the class and retake or take chemistry.

I just took my chemistry quiz. Guess who got an 80%?

That’s right. The old lady with two kiddos who don’t go to bed til 10:00 pm!  Can I get another AMEN and ALLELUIA? I was so excited! Now granted I still don’t really understand half of it, but alot of it made more sense than I thought it would.

It’ll probably be another week yet until we get into a good routine because we don’t have class on  Monday because of the holiday and we don’t have lab next Wednesday because the Monday class doesn’t meet.  My online English class of course will have lots to keep me busy but I really want to try to limit how much I study when I’m home with the kids.  I am going to pick up a bunch of preschool and kindergarten books because the kids love to work on their numbers and letters and if there’s times I have to study then they can study right along with me!  It does seem to appear that I’ll probably never watch another tv show again and my blogging will probably dwindle just a bit. I want to try to keep up with our family memories since this is kind of our scrapbook but I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how it goes.

Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement!  You have no idea how much I appreciate it!

Oh, and the best part of the day?

I wasn’t the oldest person in my class.

Amen and alleluia!

After we drug my brothers kicking and screaming outside we realized it was just a tad bit windy.  And when I say tad I mean 40 mile an hour winds with gusts of probably 80.  Ok, maybe not that bad but my parents live up on top of a hill so it feels alot worse than it probably was.

But we decided to give it a try anyway.

I have no idea what’s going on here…

See? Just a tad bit windy…

We sat like this for awhile until my sister realized she was the only one standing…

More wind…

More wind. But not too bad…

I think my sister might kill me for this one…

Next it was the girl’s turn. Yikes!

Yikes!

Mom and dad. This is actually a great picture, don’t ya think!

And then a few family shots. Not bad I guess.

Possibly the worst best family picture ever.

It didn’t turn out too bad! I messed up a little on the ties but other than that I think I followed the pattern and instructions pretty closely.  Either Princess is a good actress or she really liked it.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
When all of a sudden
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realise just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And O how He loves us
Oh, O how He loves us
How He loves us all

Yeah He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves us
O how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

Five couples and their kiddos were able to make it. We sent the kids downstairs and the adults visited and mingled upstairs. Eventually we got to the good part – the food! Wow! What a spread! Everyone brought one, two or three things to share and it turned out that no one doubled up on what they brought. So we had alot of amazing snacks to feast on all night.

Our first game of the evening was called the suitcase game. Except we didn’t use suitcases, we used laundry baskets. We played guys against girls and it’s like a relay race. The first person goes and has to put on everything (correctly) that’s in the basket. And then take everything off and go tag the next person.

Of course the girls won.  And it was complete coincidence that the guys had a size zero sweater vest in their basket. Really.

Here’s part of the group before the race starts.  We gave everyone the chance to give us a little money in exchange for not posting their pictures. But they thought we were kidding.

After that it was more food and visiting and then we played a game called Battle of the Sexes.

Let’s just say the guys didn’t have a good night.

Here they are all happy before we started playing.

Or maybe it was the princess tiaras that were making them so happy?

Well anyway, here they are after the girls whooped up on them.

Dave, ready to go postal.

Looks like Pat might have already went postal.

But ya can’t blame them. The girls did beat them pretty bad.

Everyone made it til midnight. Except Bubba. He made it until about 11:50!

But then we called all the other kids upstairs and brought out the blow horns.  Worst decision of the night. Oh my word, it was so loud. And Bubba woke up just in time for the new year.

Despite the loud chaos we managed to get a group shot.

No children were harmed in the taking of this picture. Actually, I take that back. I think there were some children harmed, unintentionally of course.

What a great evening!  We couldn’t think of a better way to spend our 9th wedding anniversary.

Ok, maybe we could. But this would definitely be towards the top of the list!