Grasp The Love

“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day.” Habakkuk 2:3

Hubby and I were married December 2002. I was married before and had struggled with infertility for about four years so we figured we would have problems. After 6 months we decided to seek medical help in hopes to conceive.

In the Fall of 2003 I had surgery. I’ve had a history of ovarian cysts and have had previous surgeries for this and so had alot of scar tissue on my ovaries. Otherwise the doctors couldn’t determine any other reason for not getting pregnant. In the Fall of 2004 I had another surgery, this being my 4th so far. We were never led to pursue IVF. I’m not sure why. I just always felt that if we couldn’t conceive naturally I would rather spend the money on an adoption.

In Spring of 2005 we decided to talk more seriously about adoption. At this time Hubby had a 14 year old and a 16 year old. Even though we were trying to conceive, the process of adoption made him think hard about whether or not he really wanted to start over. I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed that he would.

In June of 2005 we were still researching adoption agencies. My sister called one night and said she knew of a little boy that needed a home. O. was 1 year old and his mom and my sister had just met. His mom was struggling with addictions and had asked my sister to take him. My sister wasn’t able to care for him though either so we took him. We eventually communicated with O’s mom and she was considering adoption. Regardless of what happened we felt the Lord directing us to care for O. as long as he needed.

We had O. for one year. During that year we continued to communicate with his mom, going back and forth about adoption. O’s mom was able to get clean and healthy and we eventually came to realize that God’s will was for him to go back to her. At the end of May 2006, almost exactly one year since he came to our home we drove O. 800 miles to his mom. It was one of the hardest things we’ve ever had to endure.

God is good and has allowed us to remain close to O., his mom and his grandparents. We are O’s God-parents and we get to see him and his family often. Although it was hard we are so thankful that God brought them into our life. Having O. also allowed Hubby to realize that he does want to have kids with yours truly. Ya! Praise God!

We were ready to dive into adoption. I was going to be a mom! Well, God had other plans. Hubby and I both sensed God telling us to wait one year before moving forward with adoption. Yes, the situation with O. was hard, but one year Lord!?!? Ok, we’ll trust You. And we had the most amazing sense of peace I’ve every experienced!

In June of 2007 we started the adoption process through CWA, Ethiopia. I had always been drawn to international adoption. We were praying for two children, at least one infant, preferably twins.

In August of 2007 we again sensed God telling us to wait to adopt, specifically to wait to adopt through Ethiopia. I was devastated because I thought this was His will and finally Hubby and I would have kids together.

In September of 2007 we were contacted by a friend that told us that a family had heard about us and their teenage daughter was pregnant. With twins! A boy and a girl. She had chosen us to adopt her babies. We were so excited and thought this was why God had directed us to wait to adopt through Ethiopia.

When the twins were born at the end of September we were told that the family had changed their mind. The birth father and family preferred a bi-racial family since the babies were bi-racial. We went through intense mourning and then two days later received a call that they had changed their mind and were considering us again. We thought this was answer to our pleas to God. It wasn’t meant to be though as we received word a few days later that they had decided to go with the original family. We did learn that the birth mom wanted us to have her babies but the rest of the family and birth father did not. Again, we were devastated. Words can’t really describe our pain at this point but we continued to try to trust in God’s perfect timing.

In October 2007 we moved forward with another agency, one who we had been in contact with a year and 1/2 prior and always felt very comfortable with them. We also sensed God directing us towards domestic adoption of an infant. I struggled with this at first… wanting an infant…but came to peace about. I wanted to experience being a mom from as early in the child’s life as possible – at least with our first – and was finally able to convince myself there was nothing wrong with that. We completed orientation and started our home study process.

On November 26th, 2007 we finished our home study. Now we wait. We were told the average wait is one year. We were praying that we wouldn’t have to wait longer than a few months.

On December 7th, 2007 (a week and 1/2 later!) we recieved a call from our agency regarding a 5 week old little girl named Angel. She had been in foster care since birth. She was considered a “high risk” baby because of her birth mom’s history.

December 7th and 8th. Hubby and I prayed and prayed and talked and prayed some more. My heart had said “yes” when I first heard about her although Hubby had some concerns because she was “high risk”. I kept my mouth shut and prayed. Hubby said “yes” on December 8th and on December 9th we called our social worker. She couldn’t get in touch with the baby’s social worker so we assumed that she was ours but still hadn’t heard for sure.

Late on December 9th we received the call we’d been waiting for. Angel was ours!

On December 14th, 2007 we drove four hours to meet Angel for the first time. It was so amazing. We were able to spend an entire weekend with her at a hotel. Unfortunately we had to leave her with the foster home until our paperwork was final.

December 17th, 2007. Successful court hearing. Parental rights are terminated and Angel is ours! Now we just wait for the interstate compact. She is in a different state so we can’t bring her home until the approval goes through her state and our state. It’s Christmas season, there is new staff in her state’s office. Our social worker tries to be encouraging but is also honest in telling us we probably won’t get to bring her home until after Christmas.

December 20th, 2007, 10:30 am. I had just got my hair cut and colored and our social worker calls my cell phone. We get to go get our baby! I about faint right there in the salon.

December 21st, 2007. We drive the four hours to pick up our Angel. It’s a Christmas miracle in so many ways and we praise God for His many blessings!

Here she is, our precious miracle Angel!

Three months old!

Eleven months old!

21 months!

We were so very blessed to have Angel home and you can’t imagine my joy as I’d finally become a mom. It was so awesome. We figured in a year or so we’d start the adoption process again for a 2nd child. Well, the Lord had other plans.

In April 2008 Angel was 6 months old and had been home for 4 months. I hadn’t been feeling well but just chalked it up to stress and honestly didn’t really think much of it.  On April 14th, 2008 I finally realized that I was 10 days late. 10 DAYS!!! Yikes. I’d never been more than 1 day late before. I think I counted and re-counted about 20 times. As soon as I got home from work I took a pregnancy test. I had a stock pile from all the years of trying to get pregnant. And it was positive!

Here’s what I posted on April 16th when we shared our news with the world.

And on December 17th, 2008 – exactly one year after Angel was legally our baby girl – Caleb, aka, Little Pip was born!

We couldn’t thank the Lord enough for His amazing blessings! Even now it’s almost too much to comprehend. We are so unworthy and pray we never take our two little miracles for granted!

You can read more about Little Pip’s journey here.

And here’s our 2nd miracle baby!

1 month old..

7 months old!