Month: September 2007

Date night

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Guys, have you taken your lady out on a date recently? Well, time’s a wasting! And it’s one of the best things you can do to strengthen your marriage. And IT DOES NOT have to be anything fancy or expensive. Let me tell ya, a nice walk in the park, holding hands and getting ice cream is one of the best dates ever.

So tonight Hubby took me on a date. We have SO many new restaurants in our town and I know he’s been wanting to try one but wouldn’t tell me. I was pleasantly surprised to find us at Toyko Japanese Restaurant. The local paper recently had a review and it got 4 out of 4 stars. Although I don’t like sushi and I’m a little picky so I was a little nervous.

The restaurant is tiny so it was a little uncomfortable waiting for a table, having to stare at everyone eating. We had to wait about 20 minutes for a table which is really good in our town. I ordered the Hibachi Steak, Hubby ordered some Box thing and we also ordered bacon wrapped asparagus appetizers. We both got soup and salad with our meals and I did not care for it at all. Then my Hibachi Steak came which was kind of weird because we hadn’t got our appetizer yet. My meal was wonderful. The steak was tender and cooked perfectly. Eventually the rest of the meal came. Hubby had like 5 different things, the only one he knew for sure was salmon. I thought that was funny, he had no idea what he was eating but he said it was really good.

Even though it was pretty crowded and I didn’t care for the soup and salad it was a very nice meal, almost romantic even 🙂 Then instead of taking the interstate home, we took the long way and drove through town, listening to worship music blaring, every once in awhile turning it down to talk. Had to stop and get ice cream on the way home of course!

As we drove through town we could see the full moon across the clear sparkling sky in front of us. As soon as we pull into the driveway our new neighbors pull into their driveway. They actually don’t move in until Monday so it was the first time we’ve seen them. We had a nice visit and got to share a little about our family.

Thank you Lord! What great date with my great hubby!

Each of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

My wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system

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Rated M for mature audiences! 🙂

We’ve decided to tackle my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system again

Way back in college, about 1994, I had my first experience with my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system. I woke up to excruciating pain and went into the bathroom. I passed out as I got out of the shower (even put a huge hole in the wall where my head hit!). Anyway my roommate takes me to the ER where they find out I have grapefruit size cysts on my ovaries. I go into surgery after they tell me they may need to take my ovaries. Oh gee, that’s comforting! Thankfully that didn’t happen but one of the cysts had ruptured causing internal bleeding so they couldn’t use a scope, they had to cut me open….which started this whole big mess with my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system.

Long story short, I’ve battled cysts and pain every month since then. In addition, since that first surgery scar tissue has grown and grown around my ovaries and created all types of havoc. My first husband and I battled infertility and saw numerous doctors all of them telling us they didn’t really know what was wrong, I have scar tissue and that’s probably what’s wrong, the only way to get pregnant is to do invitro. 

So when hubby and I got married I knew we’d have this battle again. We’ve also been to numerous doctors, all of them saying the same thing. We’ve never pursued invitro, just never having peace about it and feeling we’d rather spend $10,000 on adoption. However, I’ve heard of other “methods” to treat infertility and we’ve never looked at those options. I would make an appointment or actually see a different doctor but then give up after a few months. Not sure if I’m just lazy, or doubtful, or sometimes I think I convince myself that God doesn’t need these doctors for me to get pregnant. I know that’s true but I also know my body has a wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system and that God can use these doctors to help bring healing. I don’t want to look back 10 years from now and regret not looking into other things.

So yesterday after once again having to deal with my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system I started to do some research and ask close friends about their experiences. On Friday I have an appointment with a doctor/chiropractor/massage therapist/acupuncturist. She’s had specific experience with infertility and even if I don’t get pregnant I would love to find some relief from my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system. Then next Tuesday I have an appointment with a family doctor who works alot with infertility and who works closely with the Creighton Model.

My first question will be if my tubes are messed up or I have all this scar tissue and fibroids, then will the Creighton Model really do anything? And then just in case the family doctor wants me to see a OBGYN specialist I made an appointment with an OBGYN (3 weeks from now) that specializes in wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive systems and infertility. I can’t say that I’m looking forward to having a gazillion needles poking me but I’m told by some dear friends that it’s not that creepy and that the acupuncturist doctor is really great. She is a graduate of my alma mater’s rival so that brings me great concern. Go rabbits

At the same we still feel called to adopt so we’re going to proceed with our adoption plans. We have orientation on October 6th with the agency that will be doing our home study and possibly our adoption. (We haven’t decided 100% yet if we should do an agency or private adoption.)

Hubby is so patient as I deal with my wacked out, psychotic, hormonal, pain inducing reproductive system and for that I’m very grateful. He’s promised that he’ll encourage and support me through another round of doctoring. One of my friends said it’s pretty much a part time job charting all that needs charted for the Creighton Model but if it can bring healing and maybe even a little one I’m ready for the challenge!

Life with Charlie

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This is a little late but happy birthday Charlie! Charlie is my puppy that just turned 10 on September 16th. No, I haven’t lost my mind – I know Charlie can’t read but he’s part of our family so I have to blog about him. He’s getting up there in age and it makes me sad to think we only have a few years left with him.

Charlie is so cute. Even when he’s soaking wet, he’s cute as can be. And he’s secure in his cuteness. Like today it rained. There’s Charlie sitting on the deck getting wet and wilty and stinky. But he doesn’t care. He knows we’ll let him in the house and help him dry off. And he’s got the cutest little face. He actually looks just like an Ewok, especially when he’s due for a haircut.

Right now he’s sleeping. How can dogs sleep all day and then be so tired that they have to sleep all night. It amazes me. I think I would like that life (at least for a few days). And then within a matter of seconds he’ll jump up and be ready to wrestle with our other two dogs. He is horribly abused because he’s short. Ed and Alie will tower over him and bite his ears. He gets them back by knawing on their legs 🙂

He’s also a begger (that’s what he’s doing in the picture). He’ll sit on his hind end for hours if we let him and beg away. He doesn’t beg to Hubby because he knows he’ll get scolded (poor Charlie). But he knows full well who Grama and Aunt Laurel are and will beg like crazy to them, again knowing full well that it will be worth his effort.

Oh Charlie dog, you’re such a good friend!

Peace

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I haven’t written much lately about our adoption. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say. Maybe I’ve had too much to say and didn’t know where to start.

The Lord brought such healing and peace to our hearts through the not-adoption of the twins. Our church family is amazing and we felt their prayers. We still pray for the twins and think of them and their birth mom often. It’s amazing how you can become so connected to people and not even meet them. My prayer is that some day I can meet her and pray with her and encourage her.

Going through the process with the twins made me question my views on adoption. I know everyone has their opinion and their is no “right” way. However, after a number of past experiences Hubby and I had decided closed adoption was the best option for our family. This was one reason the twins seemed so perfect because it would have been a closed adoption.

However as I heard about the twins being in a room by themselves at the hospital and the birth mom or her family not even being able to say goodbye, or they not even meeting the family that would raise and love the twins my heart just broke. I can’t even begin to imagine how the birth mom and family is feeling. So I’m doubting my feelings of closed adoption and wondering if we wouldn’t have more peace with a semi-open adoption.

We’ve also been praying about adopting a sibling group, a 1 yr old and 2 yr old. We felt real peace about it so we sent in our profile. We then found out it would be just the 2 yr old. I really had my heart set on both of them and there were some other things that caused us to have uneasiness and loose that sense of peace. Hubby talked to the social worker and we came to a decision that it wasn’t God’s will for us to adopt any of these children. And the Lord gave peace.

It’s amazing the wisdom of my Hubby. I’m totally emotional and it’s like “any kid, doesn’t matter, we’ll take ’em!!” He’s just a little more rational (thank you Lord). But he’s also so patient and doesn’t force anything on me. He’ll wait patiently for me to come to the place where the Lord wants us to be. For that I’m so thankful. Hubby definetly doesn’t wear his feelings on his sleeve so sometimes I doubt his excitement of this adoption. But to see him cry and hear him say, “I envisioned the twins, what they would look like, what our family would be like,” just broke my heart and gave me peace that he wants to grow our family as much as I do.

As you can see, the theme today is peace. That even when my heart aches to be a mom and have little ones in our home and the pain is great as we think about the twins that won’t be in our family, the Lord miraculously brings peace. It really is a peace that passes all understanding.