Month: January 2008
I’m a mom. I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. And I’m infertile.
Just the other day that fact hit me. Since our daughter Angel came home on December 21st my life has been crazy. Crazy busy. Crazy falling more in love with her. Crazy trying to figure out this mom stuff. We bonded almost immediately and almost immediately I felt like a mom. I can now watch peanut butter, cold medicine and diaper commercials without crying. I can walk through the store with my head held high and think, “Ya, I’m a mom. Oh, I think I’ll buy some formula.”. When the radio or tv or friends or anyone talks about mom stuff I now listen with an attentive ear instead of guarding my aching heart. I can kiss my baby and hug her and hold her and gaze into her eyes until my heart feels like bursting.
But this weekend I remembered. I remembered that I’ve never experienced morning sickness or stretch marks or pregnancy. I didn’t have the joy of giving birth to my baby. My precious Angel won’t have my genes or my husband’s genes and there will never be a family resemblance. However if someone told me today that I could get pregnant but that I’d have to give Angel back I would absolutely without a doubt say NO! She is my child and I am her mom.
I was reminded of the most famous infertile woman, Hannah. The thing that most stands out to me in 1 Samuel 1 is that Hannah continued to worship her Lord. Yes she cried and begged and pleaded and her soul wept with the ache of not having a child. But year after year she went up to the house of the Lord because I think she knew that He could not only answer her prayer but He alone would give her life meaning.
My barren womb still cries out at times but I can honestly say that it’s ok. I am not made complete by being a mom. There is abundant joy and excitement and happiness found in motherhood but it does not complete me. Jesus is the only one that can complete me. He is the only one that makes me whole.
I am a mom. I have a beautiful 3 month old daughter. And I am a child of the King.
It’s 10:30. Hubby and I are laying in bed, he watching ESPN, me trying to sleep. Then I remembered that I had to remember something. Had I forgot to turn off the oven after making those 3000 calorie brownies? No. Did I feed the baby before she went to bed? Yes. Hmmm, what could it be? Oh ya, it’s Works for me Wednesday tomorrow and I don’t have a thing to say!
Me: Hubby, it’s Works for me Wednesday tomorrow. Do you have anything that I could post?
Hubby: (Looks at me like I’ve lost my mind)
Me: (I proceed to tell him all about Works for me Wednesday. Uh, duh!) So, can you think of anything that I could post?
Hubby: (Silence…I think he’s thinking……..) If you microwave a hot dog for 10 seconds and then turn it and then microwave another 10 seconds and turn it and then microwave another 10 seconds it will be perfectly done without exploding.
Me: (I look at Hubby likes he’s lost his mind)
Hubby: Well it works for me!
There ya have it folks. All the hotdog knowledge you could ever want. Have a good lunch!
And don’t forget to check out more great tips over at Rocks In My Dryer!
Sorry. That’s the sound of me jumping up and down. I just heard about the She Speaks Conference which Proverbs 31 Ministries holds every year. Now I do have a confession to make. I had never heard about this conference but it sounds so amazing. And I have another confession to make. I listen to Proverbs 31 Ministries on the radio all the time. But there have been some days, when I’ve been really struggling with this whole not able to conceive a child thing that I’ve turned the station. Please do not hold that against me now.
Ok, here are a few details about the conference:
This conference is for women who love God and want to grow in the gifts He’s given them. There are four different tracks that you can go through but you can always mix and match between different tracks. That’s definitely what I would do, there’s some amazing information in all four tracks.
She Speaks is for those who have a gift for, love and want to improve at public speaking. She Writes is of course for those lady writers. It could be someone who is writing a book, wants to write a book, or maybe just has a blog and wants to use their gifts more effectively through the Internet. She Leads is for leaders of women’s ministry. You’ll learn how to grow your women’s ministry, how to start small groups and cultivate women who love the Lord and want to share that love with others. And although I don’t think I’d ever want to be 16 again, this next track just might convince me it’d be worth it. She Influences is for young ladies aged 12-17 who love the Lord and want to influence the world around them. How exciting!
Now that’s enough right there isn’t it? Four amazing tracks, coaching, training and encouragement from Christian leaders who’ve walked down the road many of us feel God calling us down. But wait, there’s more – so much more. You will also have the opportunity to meet Shannon, Sophie and Melanie! (boom, boom, boom – that’s me jumping up and down again). They will be co-leading a number of sessions on blogging and wow, can you just imagine how complete your life would be?
So I am hoping to win a scholarship to attend the She Speaks Conference. Due to our recent adoption funds are pretty tight not to mention the cost to fly from SD to NC. I guess I can’t say I deserve this scholarship more than anyone else but I do know that God wants me to attend. How can I say that so confidently? Because He’s placed a desire in my heart to share my story through speaking and writing. To share my story of sin, guilt, shame, pain, heartache and sorrow. To share my story of redemption, forgiveness, healing and hope.
He’s allowed for my mom and me to reach out to women through the Day Spa for Women ministry. The Day Spa for Women is not a spa like you’d see in almost every town in America. It’s a spiritual spa. A time to experience a personal touch from God through messages from His word (delivered by me or my mom), journaling, object lessons, quiet time, foot and hand massages that include prayer over each woman. We have held the Day Spa for Women 2-3 times every year for the last two years and we desire to expand this ministry. After every Day Spa we have women come up to us with tears in their eyes and thank us. Not because of anything we did. But because they heard from God. They felt God move in their life. The experienced a personal touch from God.
When I read the description of this conference I was so excited. Obviously you could tell that from the “boom, boom, boom”. I desire to not only improve our ministry through the Day Spa for Women but also improve my speaking skills for other speaking opportunities. Improve my writing skills for this blog, our youth group’s blog and for writing devotions for our church body. And also just overall grow in my knowledge of these things and in my walk with the Lord.
Boom, boom, boom!!!
Today Angel and I are hosting a party for the church ladies. I wonder how many times I can call them church ladies before they get really annoyed with me?
A year ago God called me into full time ministry. Now I hate to even say that because I believe that everyone who is a follower of Christ is in full time ministry. So I should say that God called me from my job as Asst Manager/Training Manager in a customer service call center to work for my church full time. And that was when I met the church ladies.
Yes, they do have names. Barb, Lisa, Linda, Vickie, Elaine, Kris, Bonnie, Carla, Gloria, Ruth, Gail, Christine, Melissa, Barbara. Oh boy, I hope I’m not forgetting anyone. Aren’t they beautiful names? Well they are beautiful people and I consider them not only church ladies but wonderful co-workers and amazing friends. (I should clarify, not all of them are co-workers, some of them are the wives of the men on staff. )
So today Angel and I are having them over for lunch. We’ll have wonderful sandwiches and fresh fruit and for dessert I worked hard in the kitchen all night and will present them with Recees Peanut Butter Cups.
These ladies have taught me so much. They’ve been an amazing encouragement to me and Hubby as we’ve went through our crazy adoption journey. They’ve prayed with me and inspired me and allowed me to work side by side with them as we seek to draw others closer to Christ. We’ve laughed til we cried and cried til we laughed. Good friends, that’s what they are.
Do you have friends in your life like that? Friends that are there for you, not only through the good times but through the icky bad times too. And I hope that you are that kind of friend to someone. That you allow the love of Jesus to bubble over into the life of someone that needs encouragement and prayer today.
So thanks church ladies. I don’t know how many of you even read this but I appreciate you and love you. And I’m so glad you like food as much as I do. See you soon!