It was a weekend a month ago or so and Hubby was in bed sick for the entire weekend. I wasn’t feeling 100% myself and so was feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated.
It was also the weekend that I discovered the Sisterhood and decided to finally commit to losing weight.
I needed to run to the store and unfortunately Pip had been crabby all morning. He was not his usual happy self and crying almost non-stop. Nothing would soothe him.
We quickly get what we need in the store. Thankfully Belle was pretty well behaved but Pip was crying the whole time. We load up the van and head home. It was then that I reached the point of no return and decided that I NEEDED to get something to eat. I WAS NOT going to cook at home because… well, I had no reason. I just knew I needed something and I was pretty sure that something was food.
I turn off Veggie Tales and turn on one of my favorite songs, Glorious One by Fee. Belle begins saying, “peas, peas, peas” which means “please turn Veggie Tales back on”. I crank the volume and throw myself a pity party while trying to let the words of the song sink in, hoping that maybe that will help ease my frustration.
But no. It was food I needed.
My first plan was to go to Culver’s because that was closest to the store we were at. No, they are too expensive. Dairy Queen? KFC? Taco Bell? I couldn’t decide which one I wanted.
Frustrated again, for a different reason now, I take a deep breathe and keep driving. Toward my house. Away from the fast food. I keep saying to myself: “I am now a part of the Sisterhood. I need to lose weight. I don’t NEED fast food. I don’t think I’m even hungry. I’m stressed and overwhelmed and ticked off. But I’m not hungry. I need Jesus. He alone can fill me up. I don’t need food to make me feel better. Only the Lord can ease my frustration and stress.”
I made it home without stopping for food. I made it without the Blizzard. I made it without the chicken sandwich and fries. When I got home I made Hubby some chicken noodle soup. And had a bowl myself.
I can do this, I told myself. Yes I like food. Yes I love food. Yes I use food as a soothing balm when I’m frustrated and overwhelmed. But I don’t need food. At least not the fatty, greasy food that I’ve been accustomed to eating. Although I haven’t won the war yet, I won that battle. And I was happy. And proud. And yes, a little bit hungry.
But with God’s help, I had won.
p.s. Almost forgot! It’s time to weigh in.
Missy: 164 – same as last week – down 3 pounds total
Pat: 211.5 – down 1 pound from last week! – down 5.5 pounds total