What I Really Need

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It was a weekend a month ago or so and Hubby was in bed sick for the entire weekend. I wasn’t feeling 100% myself and so was feeling very overwhelmed and frustrated.

It was also the weekend that I discovered the Sisterhood and decided to finally commit to losing weight.

I needed to run to the store and unfortunately Pip had been crabby all morning. He was not his usual happy self and crying almost non-stop. Nothing would soothe him.

We quickly get what we need in the store. Thankfully Belle was pretty well behaved but Pip was crying the whole time. We load up the van and head home. It was then that I reached the point of no return and decided that I NEEDED to get something to eat. I WAS NOT going to cook at home because… well, I had no reason. I just knew I needed something and I was pretty sure that something was food.

I turn off Veggie Tales and turn on one of my favorite songs, Glorious One by Fee. Belle begins saying, “peas, peas, peas” which means “please turn Veggie Tales back on”. I crank the volume and throw myself a pity party while trying to let the words of the song sink in, hoping that maybe that will help ease my frustration.

But no. It was food I needed.

My first plan was to go to Culver’s because that was closest to the store we were at. No, they are too expensive. Dairy Queen? KFC? Taco Bell? I couldn’t decide which one I wanted.

Frustrated again, for a different reason now, I take a deep breathe and keep driving. Toward my house. Away from the fast food. I keep saying to myself: “I am now a part of the Sisterhood. I need to lose weight. I don’t NEED fast food. I don’t think I’m even hungry. I’m stressed and overwhelmed and ticked off. But I’m not hungry. I need Jesus. He alone can fill me up. I don’t need food to make me feel better. Only the Lord can ease my frustration and stress.”

I made it home without stopping for food. I made it without the Blizzard. I made it without the chicken sandwich and fries. When I got home I made Hubby some chicken noodle soup. And had a bowl myself.

I can do this, I told myself. Yes I like food. Yes I love food. Yes I use food as a soothing balm when I’m frustrated and overwhelmed. But I don’t need food. At least not the fatty, greasy food that I’ve been accustomed to eating. Although I haven’t won the war yet, I won that battle. And I was happy. And proud. And yes, a little bit hungry.

But with God’s help, I had won.

p.s. Almost forgot! It’s time to weigh in.

Missy: 164 – same as last week – down 3 pounds total

Pat: 211.5 – down 1 pound from last week! – down 5.5 pounds total



8 thoughts on “What I Really Need

    Lisa said:
    April 22, 2009 at 7:26 am

    Awesome story. And you are right, you don’t NEED all those bad foods. I, too, am guilty of reaching for food when I am stressed, overwhelmed, bored. I am human. You are human. BUT, we are making strides in the right direction. BRAVO!

    Fergie said:
    April 22, 2009 at 8:06 am

    We are so on the same page. When things/life start to spin out of control I run straight to unhealthy food choices to soothe the savage beast. Congrats on winning the battle. I will think of this story the next time I am tempted to head fast food hell. Thanks for sharing.

    Melissa said:
    April 22, 2009 at 8:18 am

    I love your story! You are so right!

    Keep up the great work you two!

    Brooke said:
    April 22, 2009 at 8:57 am

    “I need Jesus. He alone can fill me up. ”

    There are so many times that I need to remember this! I had a moment like you last week, only I caved. Thankfully my Sisters got me back on track!

    Christy said:
    April 22, 2009 at 7:52 pm

    Your story is so inspiring. Always remember that you ARE NOT alone. So many times, we all have the same urge to just take the easy road. You are doing an amazing job and I am so proud of you!

    Way to go on your loss! You’re tearing it up, man!!! Keep up the good work 🙂


    April said:
    April 22, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    What a great “moment” for you!! You don’t need that fast food! Great job! Keep up the good work! That weight will come off!

    christieo said:
    April 23, 2009 at 8:22 am

    good for you!!! it’s just too easy to stop sometimes, but i’m so glad you kept on going, it’s worth it!!

    d said:
    April 23, 2009 at 8:24 am

    Great job. Thanks for sharing your story and keep up the good work!

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