Considering how much my abs hurt I must have lost weight

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As promised I was up and at’em at 5:30 am on Monday morning ready to get a good workout with Susan Mann on FitTV.

Well let me clarify.

Angel was up at 4:00 am and of course I couldn’t go back to sleep. Until 5:23 am. When the alarm clock went off every single bit of me wanted to snuggle under the covers for another 30 minutes but I knew that you, blog world, would hold me accountable. And sometimes I just hate that about you. But not really.

I go out to the living room and turn on FitTV to find not Susan Mann, but Gilad. I really can’t stand that guy. He’s just so weird. And happy. And touchy feely. But I had no choice but to work out with Gilad. So I sat on the couch for “a few minutes” to see what workout was planned for the day. And I continued to sit. And judge. And sit some more. And let me just say a few things.

Besides the fact that I start alot of sentences with “and”.

~Does Gilad ever work out? How is he in such good shape? He spends most of the workout walking around critiquing the other people that are working out.

~I was rather surprised at how not so skinny the ladies were. Don’t get me wrong. I would love to have their “not so skinny” bodies. But I expected teeny tiny people. I apologize to every workout show for judging you unfairly thinking that you never have realistic looking people on your show.

~In this episode Gilad did go talk to the men. He really should have been critiquing them the whole time because they were messing up big time. I know because I had a perfect view from my couch. The first guy kept cheating and only take 2 counts to go down to his knee. It was suppose to be 3 counts. And then at one time Gilad went to the other guy and got him all flustered and the poor guy could hardly lift the weight up and his arms were shaking and he couldn’t breathe. It was so funny. I almost decided to forget this workout thing and go make some popcorn to eat while I watched my new favorite comedy.

~Why does everyone have to look at their bicep on every bicep curl.  Maybe it’s just a natural reflex but it got kinda creepy watching everyone check out their bicep muscles. I suppose if I had bicep muscles like they all did I would probably do that too.

After 15 minutes it was break time and let me tell you I needed a break. But seriously, I did decide to get serious and I went to find some weights or one of those band things. I found a bag of bands but they were all tangled together and I was not successful in getting them untangled before Gilad came back. It didn’t really matter because when I turned to look at the tv it was time for sit ups. Why didn’t I do the first half of bicep curls? I was committed though and started doing the sit up things with Gilad and his crew.

Oh my word. I hate you cookies and potatoes for making me into the person I am today.

At one point Gilad started talking about contractions. I have no idea what he was talking about. All I know is that it took me back to childbirth and I couldn’t really decide which was worse – these horrible sit up things or 36 hours of childbirth.

Finally it was time for another break. I looked at the clock. 6 minutes! You’ve got to be kidding me. It felt like an eternity. Or 36 hours of childbirth. And then Gilad said, “Feel your abs. Feel them tightening. Feel them molding… blah blah blah”. Or something like that. My abs were not feeling anything but intense burning pain.

Then we did some stretching. That I have to admit felt pretty good. After stretching I was all geared up for some more sit up things or maybe even a few bicep curls when he said, “See you tomorrow!” I look at the clock. 8 minutes. That all I get for waking up at 5:30 in the morning? Ok, yes, it was my fault since I wasted 15 minutes making fun of Gilad and his crew and I suppose for this cookie and potato loving girl 8 minutes was plenty for my first day of exercise in like 4 years.

I’m hoping tomorrow we do 8 minutes of bicep curls. My abs need a break!


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