On Saturday afternoon I found myself at the grocery store. My work Christmas party was Saturday night and I had decided to make these asparagus appetizers and had to pick up the ingredients.
My heart had been heavy all week. I think about Haiti constantly and the many lives that have been tragically effected and will continue to be effected for months, even years. So my heart was heavy as I picked up my few items at the store.
I turned the corner towards the meat department and I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I saw an employee filling up the refrigerator units with meat that was on sale. I looked down a little farther and there was another employee with a big tall rack of meat, filling another area. Every where I looked there was so much food. Rows and rows of it. Stacked six, eight, ten deep. There was so much food.
I stopped in the middle of the isle and put my head on the cart and cried. The tears came and I couldn’t stop myself from weeping. I was so sad. And so mad. Sad and mad that we had all this stuff. And they, the people of Haiti, have so little.
I finished my shopping slowly. Slowly because I had to keep convincing myself not to put my $2.49/lb asparagus and $7.99/lb black forest ham back. Or better yet not yell at the top of my lungs and throw it across the store. Did anyone else see all this stuff? This stuff that we take for granted and waste? Is anyone else experiencing this overwhelming sense of sadness and hopelessness? My whole world seemed to spin as I walked up to the cash register, trying to justify the need for so much stuff.
I cried again when I got to my car. I cried again today as we prayed at church. I cried again tonight as I watched 60 Minutes. And I’m sure I’ll cry many more times in the days to come. I wish that I could be one of the doctors or relief workers or military in Haiti. Being a part of the recovery. But with each tear I’ll pray. And I know that’s just as important too.
Be merciful to the people of Haiti, O LORD, for they are in distress; their eyes grow weak with sorrow, their soul and body with grief. Psalm 31:9