In Christ alone

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I stood in the shower and cried. I was so frustrated. Sick with myself and my selfish ways. Wondering why I always overreact to everything. Wondering if I’ll ever learn how to put his needs before mine.

It felt good to cry it out. We certainly didn’t talk it out. But at least I could admit to God that I was selfish, unloving and pretty much an idiot.

A little bit later we were on our way to church. An argument ensued about how I react when I’m upset. I already felt like nothing. Why did the way we communicate, or not communicate, make me feel so much worse? I told him to just bring me home. I wasn’t about to go to church with a smile on my face.  I told myself that it would be better for me to hide out then be fake.

Angel was upset because we had turned around. She kept saying, “I want to go to church.” What kind of parent am I?  Allowing an argument – one that wasn’t really that big of deal in the scheme of things – to keep me from church.  Finally a few blocks from home I changed my mind.  I’m sure he was tempted to bring me home anyway but he didn’t say anything and we went to church.  We got there a little late. Walked in to the song In Christ Alone.

I felt sick. Sick of myself. Sick of arguing. Sick of always wanting things my way. Sick of only thinking about me.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and strom

Where was my hope? My light? My strength and my song? As I sang along the tears flowed and I didn’t even care.  I had a Cornerstone, a solid ground. And yet I felt so shaky today.

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand

The heights of His love are overwhelming. The depths of His peace I don’t seem to be able to grasp. He is my Comforter though and I know that it’s through Him alone that all fears and strivings cease.

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on the cross as Jesus died
the wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
here in the death of Christ I live

Every sin on Him was laid. He took every one. How is it possible? The stupid sins I struggle with day in and day out make me want to scream. They seem to bring me to my knees. How is it possible for His love to be so big that He would take on not only all my sin but all the sin of the world. How is it possible to grasp this great love?

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave, He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

I wept as we sang, “Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me”, because today it seemed like it hadn’t lost its grip on me. It felt like sin was gripping me so tight that I couldn’t breath.

But I am His and His is mine and as I lay this sin at the foot of the cross it is gone. Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the pow’r of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No pow’r of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘Til He returns, or calls me home
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand
Here in the pow’r of Christ I’ll stand

Nothing can ever pluck me from His hand. Satan will try. There will be failings. I will be a miserable person, wife and mom. But Jesus commands my destiny.

This is the power of Christ in me. It is mine to claim because of Jesus love and because of His work on the Cross. It’s in Him alone that I can freely leave this day behind me and begin tomorrow anew.

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3 thoughts on “In Christ alone

    Shell said:
    February 2, 2010 at 1:34 am

    I love when worship just frees you to let it all out. Thank you for sharing this encouragement!

    Princess said:
    February 2, 2010 at 10:53 am

    thank you.

    singspeakgloryseek said:
    February 3, 2010 at 9:09 am

    You did it again, Missy. You have me bawling. This is truly beautiful. Thank you. So many truths in this blog, true for so many of us. Thank you for how you, again, reminded me of Christ’s amazing love.

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