A really good marriage

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If you’re married do you ever feel that you never really connect with your spouse? That you never really talk or have time to spend together doing nothing but enjoying each others company? On Sunday we got home from church and lunch and we all sacked out for naps. Angel and I were downstairs sleeping and Pat and Caleb were upstairs. After naps the kids went out back to play, I cleaned up the kitchen and dining room so I could keep an eye on them and Pat went out into the garage.

I was so frustrated. Separate again. No opportunity to talk or even just be together. I started to cry and went out to the garage and asked if we could go on a date. Yes it was Sunday at 4:00 pm. Not your normal date night. But I just needed time with him.

Thankfully Pat’s mom is amazing and will take the kids at the drop of a hat. So we dropped them off at Grandma’s and went to a movie. Where we could sit in a dark movie theatre and not talk to each other.

But that’s a good date for us. We love going to movies and it really is a special time for us to spend together. Making it even better on this particular date was the movie we saw, Date Night. How perfect. And it was a perfect movie.  Well there were a few parts not perfect, but for the most part it was great. Completely real about marriage and how it can get to be pretty boring and mundane if you don’t really commit to spending time together and growing together. Plus it was hilarious. We haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I totally cried. Pat almost wet his pants.

There’s one part in the movie that we were laughing so hard we were being very obnoxious and couldn’t stop laughing and I was crying and I looked around the theater and no one else was laughing and that made us laugh even more because we are obviously even more sleep deprived than I thought or just plain crazy.

It was awesome.

After the movie we stopped at a little cafe for a light supper. And actually talked about things besides the weather, work or the kids. We had fun holding hands and laughing and enjoyed just being together.

Ya know we have a really good marriage. We’re crazy about each other most of the time. We also drive each other crazy by our stubbornness but I suppose that just makes us focus our hearts on God to see us through.

And even though we have a really good marriage, I know that  there are hundreds of really good marriages being destroyed every day. Satan is on the prowl. He’s looking to destroy the hearts of men and women in really good marriages. He wants them to feel bored and lonely and go looking for that spark somewhere else.  Even though going through divorce was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure I am thankful that through it I see my life and our marriage in a different light. I know that each day, each step we take, there’s an opportunity for us to believe the lies of Satan – believe that our spouse can’t love us the way we need to be loved, believe that we shouldn’t have to give our all if our spouse doesn’t, believe that we’d be happier somewhere else.

Or we can believe God’s Word and the Truth of Jesus. We can believe the He alone makes us whole. We can believe that it doesn’t matter how much our spouse loves us or how much time they give us. We can believe that through God’s strength we can be selfless and loving and not so stubborn. We can believe that Jesus can take this really good marriage and make it an awesome marriage that will last a lifetime.

Of course we got home and the kids starting fighting and complete meltdown ensued and then we got in a fight over something ridiculous. It was a perfectly normal night.  But I’m so glad I’m having those perfectly normal nights with someone who loves Jesus and loves me even with all my faults…and who will go on a spontaneous date with me on a Sunday night to a silly movie and laugh with me until we cry. I’m so very thankful for our really good awesome marriage.

For reals. (That one’s for you hon).


5 thoughts on “A really good marriage

    sincerelyanna said:
    April 26, 2010 at 8:25 pm

    For reals. It takes a lot of effort to carve out time to spend one-on-one…but it’s so necessary. I don’t think you even have to have deep conversations, either. Like you said, a movie doesn’t allow for that but it didn’t matter. Mike and I are the same way. I’m so thankful for a strong marriage.

      Missy said:
      April 26, 2010 at 9:07 pm

      Your post today made me laugh out loud. Have you seen the movie? The husband has an issue with not closing drawers. So funny.

    Jenny said:
    April 27, 2010 at 5:23 am

    Hey, a new blog design! Yeah…so I’m probably a bit behind, but you pop up in my feed reader. You speak truth, real Truth, when you say that there are many of us in good – no great – marriages who think that divorce could or would never happen to us. But…we know that’s not the truth. We do what we can – keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and work hard at what time we do get together.

    We struggle with finding any “us” time just like you all do. For us, it’s mainly vegging out together after the littles go to bed. And, for now, we’re ok with that. We know it’s a season.

    Good post, friend. And although I so rarely blog anymore, I still consider you a dear friend! Would you all like to come over for the Colts/Pats game this year??? (now wouldn’t that be fun!)

      Missy said:
      April 28, 2010 at 5:16 am

      YES! Although I wouldn’t know who to cheer for. I suppose I’d cheer for the Pats but on the inside I’d cheer for the Colts too! 🙂 SO looking forward to a real life meeting some day!

    MOM said:
    April 27, 2010 at 11:31 am

    ……there you go again, making me cry! You certainly can touch hearts with your realness and honesty. You have touched mine and, I’m convinced, many others as well.

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