Instead of my normal run or 30 Day Shred workout I decided to go on a bike ride. Even though the wind was blowing hard I rode hard into the wind. I was in the lowest gear possible going down hill and I still felt like I was climbing Mt Everest.
It’s felt good to exercise. Physically it’s the best I’ve felt in almost eight years. But more than that I’ve experienced a spiritual healing with my recent dedication to exercise.
I have experienced tremendous blessing with the miracles of my two babies. But I’ve also never felt so exhausted or overwhelmed in my life. Especially as they both grow into very naughty busy toddlers who never stop moving and never seem to stop yelling. I’m just plain tired.
Unfortunately that means my quiet time has suffered. Ok, let’s just be honest. My quiet time is non-existent. Two toddlers who’s natural alarm clocks go off at 5:30 am. Two toddlers who’s natural bedtime doesn’t kick in until 9:30 pm. Combined with trying to be a good wife, having a full-time job outside the home, an obsession with keeping my house somewhat clean, the attempt to write a book, the desire to be a good volunteer at church, blah, blah, blah. The list goes on and what it boils down to is that I haven’t made had time for just me and God.
When I started going running or biking or doing the 30 Day Shred at 8:00-9:00 pm at night, or getting up in the morning to do it, I felt a little guilty because it was time I was missing with the kids. But then I found my new favorite songs. And not only did I feel good after exercising but I felt spiritually good. The songs inspired me to keep running and keep living life through God’s grace and mercy. The time with just me, myself and I was time I would sing (inside my head because otherwise I would hyperventilate), talk to myself, hash out the days events, pray and beg God for the desires of my heart. It’s that me and God time. The time I’ve so desperately needed and missed these past two years.
I continued to bike against the wind even though I felt like my lungs were going to explode. I could hardly hear my music because the wind was blowing so hard. But I knew the songs on my playlist by heart and every one of them encouraged me and inspired me to keep going. I rode from 3rd street to 57th street and then turned around to ride home.
As I turned around the wind completely died. There was silence. I was now not only riding with the wind but I was also looking into one of the most beautiful sunsets I’d ever seen. I felt such peace and it was as God was reminding me that sometimes in life there’s chaos and noise all around us and everything just feels really overwhelming. But then just like that you turn a corner and there’s peace and joy and the knowledge that things will be all right.
And of course in both situations God is right there along side.