My mom sent me this video today. Of course perfect timing.
We’ve really been struggling lately. Angel is struggling with the recent changes to daycare. She’s so upset. I’m struggling with working fulltime again. Even though it’s been over 6 months, every day it gets harder. I know I need to find joy in our circumstances. Lately I’m struggling to do that though. All I think about is the time I waited for my babies. Nine years. And now I see them for about five hours a day. I know it’s hard for all mamas, regardless of how long they waited to have babies. I know my pain isn’t greater than anyone else’s. It’s just different. I also know being home with kids isn’t perfect or easy. But it is the desire of my heart.
The daycare called today and said Angel cried and was sad all day. I left work early and when I asked her why she was sad, she said, “Because you weren’t there.”
I just know there has to be a way. Unfortunately I don’t know what that is. So I wait. And pray. And cry alot.
And then my mom sends me this video. And I cry even more. Tears of joy. Tears of sadness. Tears of hope that there is a way for God to answer the cries of my heart.