It was one of those days.
You know the “skip the salad and head straight for the fried chicken” type days. Or the “go home, let the husband take care of the kids and bury yourself under the covers” type days. Or the “I could really eat a gallon of chocolate ice cream” type days. Thank goodness we don’t have a gallon of chocolate ice cream in our freezer.
It was a day of disappointment and sadness and an ocean of tears. It was a day of feeling unworthy and unloved. It was a day of being taunted by the voices in my head that I’m not able to do anything right.
It was a day of doubt that the love of God could fix anything or heal any hurt. It was a day when the words I often speak, “My God doesn’t part puddles, He parts the Red Sea” were doubted. It was a day of questioning if God really is able to use me. Does He really want to use me?
Do you have days like that? I was hoping it wasn’t just me.
While I did skip the salad and went straight for the fried chicken, I didn’t bury my head under the covers when we got home. I wanted to. I wanted to cry five oceans of tears.
But God had other plans.
As I was sitting writing this, I was waiting for the kids to go to sleep. Caleb reached over to their little radio and turned on my ipod (which is now their ipod). Of course the first song that came on was “Who am I” by Casting Crowns.
My doubting ceases. Through the words of the song He heals my heart. Because of Christ I know who I am. Because of Christ it doesn’t matter what happens around me. He is steady and strong to steady me.
And so I might be sad. I might feel unworthy. I might cry an ocean of tears. But I am His.