I read this blog post awhile back and had forgotten about it until now. (Go ahead and read it, I’ll wait.)
What an encouragement, and challenge, to this no faced mama. Now granted, alot of the time I am a yes mama. But I think far too often I’m a no mama. I know though that we moms need to cut ourselves some slack. It’s so easy to allow yourself to get overwhelmed with guilt and the feelings that we’re never doing anything right and so I don’t read this or feel challenged and feel bad about myself as a mom. But I also know that alot of the time I’m selfish and it’s just easier to say no. And so I need to pray for strength to be a yes mama even when it’s hard.
I might just be a perfectionist and so that causes me to say no sometimes. When I first started staying home I was so excited to be able to do crafts with the kids. And we did. But did ya’all realize the mess that crafts make? Oh my word the mess. That’s hard for me and unfortunately I would forget that my children are 2 and 3 and the whole thing would end up in a big fat meltdown. But I’m getting better at not worrying about and not getting stressed and just saying yes with a smile and letting them craft away (and perhaps the Zoloft is kicking in).
I’m also getting better about not worrying about cleaning and keeping things in order at home. I shared with Pat the other night that it’s such a difficult balance being home. The whole reason a mama is home is to teach and nurture her children. Yet I think most mamas (me) spend alot of their time cleaning and picking up and laundry and all that stuff. And then my whole day is shot and I’ve spent about 2 hours actually teaching and nurturing. Thankfully my husband is amazing and understands and he really doesn’t expect our house to be spotless and he’s willing to help out. I’m learning to focus on what’s really important.
Some of my no face might be because I’m just a tad bit fearful. Like obsessively worrying about things happening to my children. I know that goes with the territory of being a mom but I just might let it go a little too far. I’m constantly harping on them to do this and do that so that they won’t get hurt. I HATE them playing in the front yard because I’m so stressed about them going in the street. But that’s the only place they can play with their bikes and carts and chalk and run up and down the sidewalk. Perhaps my next topical Bible study needs to be on worrying?
For me, this whole yes mama thing boils down to just letting go. I can’t believe I just said that. But it does. Letting go of my need to control things. Letting go of unrealistic expectations, worry and fear. Trusting the Lord.
I know I have made and will continue to make mistakes as a mom. But I hope and pray that when my kiddos are grown up and look back at their memories of childhood they’ll remember a yes faced mama.