I love Anne of Green Gables. The movie version anyway. I’ve seen it probably a hundred times and I can’t wait to watch it with my own little carrot top. And maybe someday we’ll read the books together.
Today I was thinking about a line from the first movie.
Anne to Marilla: Can’t you even imagine you’re in the depths of despair?
Marilla: No I cannot. To despair is to turn your back on God.
I can imagine being in the depths of despair.
It’s been over nine years since I left my first husband and abandoned my faith. Nine years is a long time, isn’t it? And yet, there are days and moments when the tears come and the pain pierces my heart. Is it because I’m not happy? No. Is it because I wish I wouldn’t have married Pat? Absolutely not.
It’s because I turned my back on God.
I know I am forgiven, healed, and made new. I believe the Word of God and His promises.
~Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
~As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12
~Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Luke 7:48
~Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Romans 4:7
~For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more. Hebrews 8:12
~If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9
And I could go on and on.
But I don’t think the reality of my choices will ever be completely removed from my heart. It’s painful to remember and think of the people I hurt. But so much more, is the reminder of leaving my First Love. The one who gave of His life for me. I knew of His love and called it my own and yet I was still deceived and believed a lie.
I turned my back on God. I have known the depths of despair. I will never forget that place.
Today, even as I remember the pain, I remember the Love and Hope and Forgiveness. Despite my wickedness and sin, Jesus rescued me still. He plucked me out of the depths. A love so great it’s impossible to grasp. He brought restoration and healing to live each day abundantly. Free from condemnation. Forgiven.
That reminds me of one of Anne’s many great lines: Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.
And His grace is sufficient.