The state of the union

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A little history:

March-April: I started having mood swings – more than normal – basically feeling completely psycho.  Because of new insurance I had to see a new doctor for my yearly physical and was dismissed of having pre menopausal symptoms.

May: Called dismissive doctor and talked to her nurse.  Told nurse that I was ready to jump off a cliff. Nurse talked to doctor and received a prescription for Zoloft to get me through until I saw the doctor.

June: Saw doctor. Dismissed my thoughts of pre menopause (again) and offered no explanation of what was going on.  No blood work. No questions. No answers. Nada. Said didn’t want me to even think about going off Zoloft for at least a year.

(Can you sense my annoyance with dismissive doctor?)

July-August: Talked to friends. Weighed pros of cons of being on Zoloft. I was frustrated that while I did feel better I didn’t have any answer as to what was going on. Also wanted to look into “natural” methods of treatment.  Also considered part or all of this being spiritual warfare.

August: Saw hormone specialist. I couldn’t afford testing but was recommended that I start taking progesterone cream and vitamins.  Other symptoms had been getting worse (night sweats, v-dryness, sex drive tanked). Decided to wean myself off the Zoloft.

September: Started taking progesterone cream, vitamins and occasionally Frankencense (a natural remedy given to me by a trusted friend).

Middle of September-Middle of October: Psycho Missy was back and in full force.  Felt as bad as I’d ever felt. Talked to a friend who recommended I see a mid-wife. This was the same mid-wife another friend had suggested I see. I made an appointment to see her but then canceled last minute.  I think I just felt stupid. I’m obviously never going to have another baby (at least biologically) and the person who made my appointment seemed a little confused as to why I was wanting to see her.

On October 6th I read this blog post.  The psychotic, hormonal imbalanced brain started turning.  I was having so many of the symptoms that Amy talked about.  For the longest time I’ve dealt with stomach issues. I’ve always had headaches, joint pain, neck pain, body aches.  But I’ve also always had a bad back so associated it with that.

I decided to give it a try and eat gluten-free for a few weeks to see how I felt. It certainly wouldn’t hurt me. Well, except for the NO BREAD and NO CAKE and NO COOKIES thing.

Wow. I could not believe the almost immediate change to how I felt.  I was also surprised that when after being gluten-free for a few days when I did eat gluten (either accidentally or on purpose) I felt horrible.   Shortly after this decision I had a playdate with a couple of friends and got some great encouragement, advice and resource information.  I’ve been doing alot of reading. Dare I say it? I think I’m turning into a foodie. Crunchy. Earthy.  If I’m being real I’d have to admit that there has always been a part of me who thought those foodie crunchy earthy people were a little extreme.

Well hello extreme, it’s a pleasure to meet you.


About a week after being gluten-free I got real sick. That was two weeks ago. Stomach cramps, severe nausea, headache, neck ache, body aches. I didn’t think I had eaten anything gluten and chalked it up to a stomach bug. But then this weekend I had the exact same thing only worse and it lasted longer.  Is it just a fluke and it is a stomach bug? Is it related to me eating no gluten?

I broke down (quite literally in the shower one morning when I was sick) and called my old doctor. The doctor I’ve seen for almost twenty years and I trust like crazy. Even though I’ll have to pay more I just needed to run everything by someone I trusted and who knew my history.

That appointment was yesterday.  I prayed and prayed that he wouldn’t be in a rush and thanks to the Lord, he wasn’t.  He was surprised to see me and we had such a nice visit.  He explained things (take a lesson dismissive doctor) and ordered some blood work, much of which probably won’t give us any answers but at least will rule out things.  We did talk about the Zoloft and he said if the progesterone cream or natural remedies works, that’s great. But that sometimes there’s nothing that will affect the serotonin levels in our brain, other than a prescription.  I know he’s not pushing it on me, but just reassuring that it still could be an option.

He also gave me a referral to a doctor that’s in my network. I didn’t even have to ask and don’t know that I would have because I felt stupid asking for a referral for a competitor.  But he knows it’s more expensive and that it just makes more sense to develop a relationship with someone in my network.

We talked a little about the gluten-free thing. He said he’d certainly test me but to wait and see how the other blood work comes back.  I’d have to go back to eating gluten for about two weeks in order to get tested and that makes me want to vomit.  But if I continue to suspect I might have an intolerance I suppose I should get tested.

Overall though, besides the two episodes of being sick, I’ve felt so great the past two-three weeks.  Almost all of my symptoms are either gone or have seen improvement.  I’ve even started weaning myself off the Coke (gasp!).

We shall see.  Until I go an entire month of feeling good the jury is still out.   The holidays are fast approaching and I’m already hyperventilating about not having gravy with my turkey and mashed potatoes.  Although since Thanksgiving is at our house this year I suppose I can make whatever I want.  Mmmm, kale. (BWAHAHAHA)

And the moral of the story?

God’s Word is a balm to my soul. Eat your fruit and veggies.  Not eating bread, pasta and cake won’t kill you. Trusted doctors are treasures hard to find. Patient, understanding husband is amazing.  Encouraging friends help me stay away from the cliff.  Two miracle babies are getting closer to having a healthy happy mama.


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