I mentioned in my weekend wrap up post last week that we were going to need to find Peanut a new home. It’s just not working out with already having two dogs, one of whom is not fond of Peanut, our very aggressive almost 3-year-old and all the Peanut pee that I find around the house.
(Did you know Peanut was back? I’m not sure I mentioned that. Peanut’s been back for about a month now because my sister moved and got a new job and isn’t able to keep her. We were hoping we could make it work this time.)
I saw an ad on Craig’s list and have been in contact with the family. They came over today to take Peanut home. We’re happy Peanut has found a good home but we’re sad too. I didn’t really like Peanut when she first came to live with us but she’s grown on me. She’s such a sweetie. Reminds me of another red-headed sweetie with big brown eyes. And that other red-headed sweetie with the big brown eyes is such a good mama. She loves Peanut so much, carries her around all day long, dresses her up and really does take good care of her.
The other night when I first mentioned to Angel that Peanut was going to go to a new family and not Aunt Nellie she was so upset. She just sobbed and sobbed. The next morning she was ok about it. This morning she cried again when we told her Ashley was coming to meet Peanut and take her home. I tried to mention Ashley’s name alot and for the most part Angel seemed to be doing ok with it. She didn’t cry at all when they came to get her. She gave Peanut a hug and kiss goodbye. But a few hours later she asked where Peanut was and cried for a little bit. She’s been acting unusually upset and angry today and Pat mentioned tonight that he wonders if it’s not because of Peanut and she just can’t express how sad (and mad) she really is.
This was her and Peanut right before Ashley came to pick her up.
It makes my mama heart hurt.
I realize this is a pretty small pain compared to what she may experience in life, but still, it is a big pain for my tender-hearted 4-year old. And I want to protect her from the pain. I know that’s every mama’s heart. But unfortunately we can’t do that, can we? Nor should we. As much as we sometimes think life without pain would be ideal, isn’t it the pain that helps us grow and mature and turn into the people God created us to be?
Most importantly without pain we wouldn’t understand our need for God. We wouldn’t understand that life may not be easier when we trust in God but it is more bearable because He walks with us through it. Without pain we wouldn’t have to draw near to our Heavenly Father and remember that He too felt pain. And we wouldn’t need the scriptures to remind us of His never-ending compassion and love.
Tonight I was looking through my Bible trying to find a good verse for us to memorize this week. Here’s a few I found:
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 74:26
The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James 5:11
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
I’m not sure which one we’ll go with yet. Probably Psalm 34:18. We don’t want to make this into something it’s not but at the same time we want to be sensitive to a little girl that’s hurting. Tonight after Pat mentioned to me that he thought she was more upset than she was letting on I started doubting our decision. But again, I can’t always make life perfect for my kiddos. And we feel having Peanut go to a new family is what’s best for everyone.
I know that even though I want to fix everything and take away her pain, that’s not the best thing. What I need to do is help her draw near to Jesus and lean on the strength of our compassionate God.