It’s like the first 4th

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Dear Mom and Dad,

I don’t write to you much anymore.
I certainly talk to you in my head, but most of those conversations are ok just left there.

Today is the 4th of July though.
And it kind of feels like the first 4th without you.
Last year the reality of losing you was still so raw.

There are so many 4th of July memories with you…

Growing up in Redfield when we owned the fireworks stand.
Us kids swiping fireworks.
Being amazed at the people who would come and buy $500 worth of fireworks or more.
Our dog Ed who would try to eat fireworks and every year get his whiskers singed off. That one year we put him in the car (with the windows down a little) and he totally destroyed the car because he wanted to get to the fireworks so bad! Hahaha.
You always gave away so many samples and freebies. I’m not sure we made any money off the fireworks stand, but you certainly made lots of friends and taught us about generosity and not being greedy.

All the years out on the river at Cedar Shores.
Your boat usually led the boat parade (when it wasn’t too windy).
We’d attempt to decorate but usually our decorations were pretty lame.
Sitting on the boat out in the water, feeling like the fireworks were going to come down right on top of us.
All the friends family along the docks, everyone celebrating together.
Attempting (and usually failing) to catch fish off the docks…well I guess that was every weekend! HA!

My favorite 4th of July picture of all time…


Miss you more than words can express today.

Miss your joy and laughter and teasing and unconditional love.

Miss your calm presence and gentle spirit.

Miss celebrating holidays – and every day with you.

As much as I miss you, I’m beginning to not wish you back though.

Especially today.

You have the best seat in the house and will for sure have the best fireworks show ever.
No way I can wish you back from that.

Love you,



One thought on “It’s like the first 4th

    sincerelyanna said:
    July 4, 2013 at 10:07 pm

    You said you had tears reading my last post and here I am doing the same while reading yours. That picture of your mom with Angel on the 4th makes me gush over the cuteness but it also makes my heart simultaneously ache for your loss. Praying for you.
    (funny story about your dog!)

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