An unexpected message from Mom

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Tomorrow is Mom’s birthday.

And I feel like I should write something but I’m not sure what.

I’ve said it a thousand times how much we miss them.

I’ve said it a thousand times how hard it is without them.

I’ve said it a thousand times that God has been faithful.

And so on the eve of her birthday, I thought I’d share something uplifting.

Some words from the birthday girl herself.

~~~

The Lord led me to this verse this morning:

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”   Zephaniah 3:17

I thought to myself, I’ve never had anyone sing to me before.

But then, just like that, a memory came to me.  Clear as day, like it had happened yesterday.  I was probably 4 or 5 years old.  My Dad had sat me on the bathroom counter, next to the sink.  He was shaving.  And as he shaving, he was singing to me, “If you knew Susie, like I know Susie, OH! OH! OH what a gal!”

And then I believed.  If my biological father, a fallen man, sings to his child like this, yes, my Heavenly Father rejoices over me with singing.  It’s hard to wrap my mind around that.  But the Bible says it.  I believe.

~~~

That was a post from Mom’s blog from April 21st, 2012.

And like I said, I had grand plans tonight to write some encouraging and uplifting.

But I just came to Mom’s post from March 24th. One I hadn’t seen before.

~~~

On Sunday our family will be spending the day together in Sioux Falls, saying goodbye to Jim and Leana.  On Monday they are flying out to South Africa for 3 months, and when they return they are moving to St. Petersburg, Florida.  We will miss you Jim and Leana!  Here’s a little video to remind you of how fast it all goes….. Starting from almost 35 years ago when you were born!

~~~

That Sunday ended up being the last time our family was together.

The last time we were all together with Mom and Dad.

cherryberryfamily

How prophetic that she would write this post and make that video.

Now I can hardly see through the tears.

As my friend has described it, now I’m just sitting here in the grief.

All I can think of is how much it hurts.

And how much this world sucks.

And how much I long for heaven.

And seriously. How funny is it that Mom used that song for the video.

Funny in a perfect sort of way.

I’m sorry to turn this post into a downer.

But now I don’t really feel like saying much else.

Except to say that we miss them.

It’s so hard without them.

And through it all – the unbearable grief and questions and hurt – God is faithful.

“The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.”   Zephaniah 3:17

Happy birthday Mom.
We love you and miss you so much.
At bedtime tonight we listened to your music and I told the kids it was your birthday tomorrow.
Caleb asked if we get to go see you.
Angel got tears in her eyes and said she’s so glad we have your songs.
As you “sing over us”, I know that God is singing over us too.
You were one of a kind and life will never be the same without you.

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