Once upon a time I ran. Not after kids or to the refrigerator. I actually ran, as in on the street or sidewalk. I know, it’s hard to wrap your mind around this concept. Now granted, many people would often refer to my movement as “jogging,” but I was quick to correct them to say I was a runner. An extremely slow runner, but a runner just the same.
Once upon a time I also ran races.
In September 2011 I ran the Sioux Falls Half Marathon. Thinking back, I still can’t believe I ran 13.1 miles. All at once. I can’t even believe I ran five miles. But I have pictures to prove it, thank goodness!
I’ll only say this once. Holy canoly, I was
skinny skinnier than I am now!
So this is the morning of the race. Bright and early, ready to hit the road!
I love this picture. As many of you know, my brother Tracy is the coach for a college track and cross-country team. Every year they host a water station and they do an amazing job! Notice the young man in some type of Hawaiian outfit. Pat captured this picture of me getting ready to give Tracy a high-five.
Oh, I love this picture even more. My sister Danelle, my mom and the kiddos. They are so little and adorable!
The kids giving mama high-fives.
I did it!
You think I’m tired?! Look at poor Caleb!
I would really love to run again. I’d be happy with just running a mile.
Unfortunately, I’m paralyzed by fear. Paralyzed because I’m afraid to fail. Paralyzed because I know, or at least I tell myself, that I’ll start and I won’t finish.
It’s not just running. I’m often paralyzed to start anything I think I should do or want to do.
This whole writing thing has me on the edge of fear paralysis. Every day, actually multiple times a day, I have to tell myself to keep on. But I’m so afraid to fail. I’m so afraid my book will never get published. I’m so afraid people are going to think I’m stupid, or that I’ll write something stupid.
But as I said, every day or even multiple times a day, I have to remind myself to keep on. I have to remind myself of what I learned at the Re:Write writing conference.
“Let go of what the outcome will be. Otherwise you will completely miss what’s really happening.” Kevin Kaiser
“Don’t try to be the latest, just be you.” Holly Kaiser
“The characteristics of many authors who were rejected time and time again before going on to be published: consistent, passionate, focused, disciplined, determined, they didn’t quit.” Ester Fedorkevich
“Your story matters. Your voice makes it unique. If you don’t tell your story, you are being disobedient.” Susie May Warren
“God isn’t interested in you getting published – He’s interested in your heart.” Susie May Warren
“Taking this road leads me to the Heavenly Father.” Ted Dekker
“Let go of everything you think you know, so you can know Him.” Ted Dekker
The cool thing is that these encouragements don’t just apply to writing. They apply to every aspect of our life.
So I do want to run again. And when I look at the truth of who I really am in Christ, I know it’s a possibility. I know I can take baby steps – in fact I already am – eating healthy, not drinking pop, walking.
The same with writing. I’ve set God-focused goals. My goal is not to get published. My goal is to tell my story, to share the Word of God as He lays it on my heart. To hopefully be an encouragement to others who might be struggling. One day at a time.
What is your struggle? Are you paralyzed with fear?
I encourage you release your fears to God. Right now, lay it down at the cross of Christ. Cry out to Jesus and ask Him to give you the strength to overcome the fear. Ask Him to give you the strength to set and keep God-focused goals. One day at a time.
I’ll meet you at the finish line.