She still waves at me

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Hello. My name is Missy. It has been six months since my last blog post.

I think I stopped writing because I’ve never wanted to post stuff just to post stuff. In the past, I would hear the title or theme of a post in my head and then I would go write it. I think most, if not all, of the ideas were from God. But the past six months I haven’t heard much. So did He stop talking? Of course not. I think I stopped hearing. Or maybe He did stop because He knew I needed a break. I don’t know.

What I do know, is that I heard today.

I went to the kids’ school to have lunch with them. As I was leaving, I looked over to the playground and saw Angel, hanging out in a circle with her little friends. She saw me and I waved, and then she waved.

I heard it immediately…she still waves at me…and I knew it was time to start writing again.

Now granted, she’s only in second grade, but I was still a little surprised she waved at me. She seems so grown up. So mature and independent. I love seeing her grow into a beautiful young lady but I also hate it.

I would like to say that we are going to be the coolest parents even as she gets older and that she will always wave. But I think there’s a pretty good chance there will be a year, or two, or three (Lord, please not more than that), when she won’t like us too much. Even though it’s hard and exhausting, I want to cherish every single day we have with them when they want to hang on us and talk to us and sit by us and show us stuff over and over and over.

I wonder how God feels when I stop hearing? When I prefer to go to my own room and do my own thing, instead of curl up on His lap and tell Him about my day? It breaks my heart to think about when the time will come when my kids prefer other people and/or things to me and Pat.

Can you imagine how God’s heart breaks when we do the same to him?

Lord, I open my ears and heart to you. I want you to be my first in all things. Thank you for helping me to hear.

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