Angel

She still waves at me

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Hello. My name is Missy. It has been six months since my last blog post.

I think I stopped writing because I’ve never wanted to post stuff just to post stuff. In the past, I would hear the title or theme of a post in my head and then I would go write it. I think most, if not all, of the ideas were from God. But the past six months I haven’t heard much. So did He stop talking? Of course not. I think I stopped hearing. Or maybe He did stop because He knew I needed a break. I don’t know.

What I do know, is that I heard today.

I went to the kids’ school to have lunch with them. As I was leaving, I looked over to the playground and saw Angel, hanging out in a circle with her little friends. She saw me and I waved, and then she waved.

I heard it immediately…she still waves at me…and I knew it was time to start writing again.

Now granted, she’s only in second grade, but I was still a little surprised she waved at me. She seems so grown up. So mature and independent. I love seeing her grow into a beautiful young lady but I also hate it.

I would like to say that we are going to be the coolest parents even as she gets older and that she will always wave. But I think there’s a pretty good chance there will be a year, or two, or three (Lord, please not more than that), when she won’t like us too much. Even though it’s hard and exhausting, I want to cherish every single day we have with them when they want to hang on us and talk to us and sit by us and show us stuff over and over and over.

I wonder how God feels when I stop hearing? When I prefer to go to my own room and do my own thing, instead of curl up on His lap and tell Him about my day? It breaks my heart to think about when the time will come when my kids prefer other people and/or things to me and Pat.

Can you imagine how God’s heart breaks when we do the same to him?

Lord, I open my ears and heart to you. I want you to be my first in all things. Thank you for helping me to hear.

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When you feel like a loser parent

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I checked my phone on Tuesday last week to see a call and voicemail from the kids’ school.

Of course, panic ensued because when the school calls, it’s always bad news, right?

I listened to the message and thankfully there was no emergency. The message was from the guidance counselor and she wanted to let us know about the mentor program the school participates in. She also said they had a mentor available and she thought Angel would be the perfect fit for her.

My first thought was not one of thankfulness and joy that my precious daughter would be able to a part of the mentor program.

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Turns out my kids are just kids

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I love love love when I’m talking to a mom or grandma and she mentions that her child/grandchild did something similar to what one of my kids have done.  I breathe a sigh of relief and think to myself, “Oh thank you Jesus, my kid is just a kid.”

Here’s what my kids, who are just kids, have been up to lately.

The strong wills. It’s almost enough to make me eat two bowls of ice cream after they go to bed. Lately they question everything we say. And I do mean everything. I appreciate the fact that they have a strong opinion and are not afraid to express it. But I would also appreciate it if they believed at least a few things I say. I thought the “you don’t know anything Mom” attitude didn’t start until middle school!

The fighting. I know this goes hand in hand with their strong wills. And it’s probably made worse by the fact that I freak out every time there’s any sort of conflict. Why can’t we all just be happy and get along? Again, I have to remind myself that they are learning how to communicate and it’s our job to help them learn. Forbidding them to talk for the rest of their lives probably isn’t teaching them much, huh? Thankfully I don’t say that to them too often. I don’t think.

The messes. Oh my word. If I have to pick up another piece of anything off the floor, I’m going to go get a third bowl of ice cream. I’ve tried everything I can think of. Any good ideas out there? That don’t involve ice cream?

Well, I thought my list would be a lot longer. I think over time I’m learning that my kids are just kids. There’s no “normal.” There’s just these precious miracles that God created uniquely and beautifully. Different personalities. Different strengths. Different weaknesses. I want to spend less time worrying about if my kids are “normal” and more time loving on them and guiding them to Jesus.

The cool thing is that even though the strong wills, the fighting and the messes tend to send me into major overwhelmtion, those things are really only a small portion of our days. The larger portion of our days are spent enjoying time together, playing games, watching movies, reading, doing really messy art projects, and every once in a while, even cleaning the house together.

If you have been blessed with children, no matter what your days may or may not look like, I hope you’ll join me in remembering that you have been given a very special gift. Cherish those little buggers. On good days and bad days. And never forget that your kid is really just a kid, yet unique from all others. And that’s a good thing.

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Singing with Angel

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One of my most cherished memories is singing with Mom and listening to her sing and play her guitar. She wrote over 80 worship songs and she loved to play her guitar and sing to the Lord. She would not only play when we were visiting them or they visiting us, but we also had the opportunity to lead worship together at the women’s retreats we held at various churches.

You can imagine my delight when I had the pleasure of singing with my precious Angel this weekend at church.

She’s been talking about singing with me for a long time, but every time she would change her mind and decide she would be too scared to be up on stage. Well, for the past few weeks she’s been asking and asking and it seemed like this time was different – like she was really ready.

Over Thanksgiving weekend was when I realized she really wanted to do it and so I asked our worship director about openings coming up in the next few weeks. I had thought about asking him about Sunday, December 7th, since Danelle and Jim would be here. But I decided not to, as it was such short notice and I figured there was already something planned.

I couldn’t believe it when I asked him and he said that he actually had an opening for Sunday December 7th! Thank you Lord! Although, that meant we had to get busy on a song!

We found one that had such an amazing message and also was pretty easy. I made Angel a copy and she got to work listening to it over and over. At first she couldn’t really get the notes but after a few days she came back and she was pretty much right on! I was so proud of her. And she was so excited.

Sunday morning we were up bright and early to do sound checks at 7:30 am. Whenever I sing or do drama or speak I always get really nervous right before going on, but then once I’m started I’m fine. Well little miss Angel didn’t have any of that. She was SO excited and confident and hilarious! I wasn’t nervous at all because she calmed me right down!

I realized after we had sang that I didn’t think about Mom or Dad once. At least not in a sad way. Instead my heart was so full of joy that I had the opportunity to sing with my Angel. A few months ago I told my counselor that I felt like I would never feel joy again. I’m so thankful that God is bringing healing and giving me joy again.

Thankfully I thought to ask Pat to record it, so you can see my precious Angel in her debut.

 

Don’t worry, you’ll see much more of her – she now plans to be a professional singer when she grows up. 🙂

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