Life or something like it
On the way to bring kids to school this morning I started thinking about, aka freaking out about, our financial situation. What could I sell, what could we do, to get by another week?
I’ve been off work that past six weeks and we’ve fallen deeper and deeper into holy crap how are we going to pay rent/utilities/car payment, etc. mode. Thankfully I started a new job yesterday, so that is good, but for today and the next and the next, things are still really tough.
As I was freaking out, God spoke to me. Just one word: trust.
I looked down at my hands on the steering wheel and they were tightly clenched. God told me to just let go. Figuratively, of course. But I did let go for a few seconds, just to feel the release.
Questions and doubt and fear ran through my mind. But God spoke just one word: trust.
He wants to drive me through this crazy thing called life. Just let go of the steering wheel. I envisioned myself completing letting go and stretching my arms out. Releasing my questions and doubt and fear.
I can do this. I can trust. By His strength. Even when nothing makes sense. Even when I just want to run and hide. Even when life is hard and questions go unanswered. Even when you think you’ve done everything right but everything still turns out wrong.
I continued to loosen my hands on the steering wheel. Let go. God is in control. He walks with me. He will provide.
I turned on the radio and a song by Lauren Daigle came on.
Of course it did. Thank you Jesus.
I’ve never walked in the shoes of a police officer. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a black man.
Twitter and Facebook and the morning news tell me how to react, how to think, how to feel. But I’ve never walked in their shoes. So how is it possible, how is it right for me to judge the actions of a police officer or a black man?
There are so many shoes that I walk in. There are also so many shoes I don’t walk in. I’m often quick to judge, especially those whose shoes I’ve never walked in.
I’ve never walked in the shoes of a homeless person. I’ve never walked in the shoes of an addict. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a young pregnant girl facing the most difficult decision of her life. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a mama losing her baby too early. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a gay man or woman. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a police officer. I’ve never walked in the shoes of a black man.
I have walked in the shoes of indescribable grief. I’ve walked in the shoes of despair and depression. I’ve walked in the shoes of defiant sin and rebellion.
I’ve also walked in the shoes of someone loved, despite my grief, despair, depression or sin. I’ve walked in the shoes of a child of a faithful God. I’ve walked in the shoes of someone pulled up from the darkest pit into the arms of Jesus.
What do I do with all the shoes that are around me? Shoes I’ve walked in? Shoes I haven’t? Twitter and Facebook and the morning news tell me how to react, how to think, how to feel about all these shoes.
But God tells me something different. He tells me, “See the love you have received as you have walked in your shoes? See this love? Give it away. Even if the shoes are different. Even if you’ve never walked in them. Give away my love. Let me take care of the rest.”
It was only a matter of time before we moved again, right?
Well, thankfully, this time we aren’t going too far.
We’ve been talking with Pat’s mom for awhile now about her moving in with us. Our target date was sometime this spring.
For the past few months she’s been noticing dark marks on the bottom of her cupboards. She’s done everything to clean it, but nothing works. The maintenance guy had looked at it numerous times and kept saying there was no water leak. We were pretty certain it was mold though.
This weekend things got real interesting. On Thursday or Friday she called to tell us water was coming out of the dishwasher. The maintenance guy looked at it and said he couldn’t fix it. A plumber came and said he couldn’t fix it. Another plumber came and took some pictures.
Life is crazy right now, so as much as I’d like to write a lengthy, humorous, inspiring post, all I can come up with right now are some pictures from the weekend.
Hahahaha. Love that man!
We have lots of babies! I never thought they’d actually grow so it’s been super cool!
This is our chore chart. Let’s be real. I pretty much don’t clean during the week. And then on Saturdays we all tackle the house together. We started doing this chart a couple weeks ago. No tv, no friends, nothing til they get their chores done. There is also no yelling by the mama so that makes everyone happy!
Angel has been coming with me to drama practice. (I’m co-directing a dinner theatre for our church! Ahhh!) She was having a little fun with our costumes.
Caleb wanted to grow his muscles and asked Pat to teach him a real push up. This dude has got some skills!
This is not from an episode of Hoarders. It is my bedroom. But that’s a story for another post.
I found myself in the drive thru at Burger King on Friday. Not sure how that happened. Anyway, this truck was in the parking lot and the occupants were also enjoying a meal with the king. I thought it was a little ironic.
Well that’s all folks. Hope your weekend was great and fun and memorable. Ours sure was! But again, that’s a story for another post!