Ten Years

This week will be ten years since we lost Mom and Dad.

For anyone new to this blog, my parents were on a boat trip on the Missouri River and on June 9th, 2012 died from carbon monoxide poisoning in their sleep. We didn’t find them until June 12th.

Every year there is fear and anticipation as we come into June and I know the dates and memories are close. I hate this week. I hate that the memories never go away. I hate that my sorrow and the sorrow of my siblings is just ours and no one else really gets it.

The memories of the last text from mom.

The memories of the last phone call with dad, asking him for advice on my garden.

The memories of Pat running the 1/2 marathon at Harrisburg Days, the kids getting a new bunkbed and having a picnic with our friends after church, all the while Mom and Dad were spending their last hours on their boat.

The memories of knowing something was wrong when they weren’t responding to our text messages. The memories of finally knowing the truth and sitting on the edge of the river, waiting for the police to get them off the boat. The memories of calling Jim and other family. The memories of waking up each morning to the reality of them gone.

I hope someday my kids will understand why I make this week such a big deal. It is in part because I want to honor Mom and Dad and remember them but it’s also because I don’t want to remember. I want to create new memories and live in the now and so I force myself (and my family) to go on a trip or go camping or go fishing and it’s always good. It always eases the pain and I know with every good memory we create, the bad memories will continue to fade.

This is pretty depressing for my first post back in a few years. Sorry about that, I’m a little rusty.

But I hope it’s also an encouragement to you to make the memories. Go on the trip. Live in the now. You will never ever regret it. It’s something Mom and Dad lived out the last half of their life. And so I will continue to do what I can to make new memories. Even if that means making my family go fishing.